Upcoming Events | Recent Press
HUMANZEES
Let me tell you something about my friend Stevie Blackehart. When Stevie was young, being raised by nuns in Hell's Kitchen, he would get in trouble very often. This meant countless hours of detention in the school library. So how did Stevie amuse himself? He would read the encyclopedias. A to Z, cover to cover, the World Book, the Britannica, etc, over and over. You would think this would make Stevie an especially interesting individual, full of fun facts about our world which he could throw into a conversation at any time.
You would be wrong. Instead, although he is my best friend, Stevie is extremely boring. Usually he's like sitting next to a monotone cassette recording of the World Book encyclopedia, droning on and on about something you could give two shits about - like, say, how a fucking air-conditioner works.
So this Friday while we were doing a photo shoot for Femme Fatales (having to do with our secret project), Stevie surprised me - surprised us all, really -when he brought up the subject of Oliver the Humanzee. For the first time in our ten-year friendship, Stevie was actually interesting. The whole gang hung on his every word as he told us all about Oliver, a very human-like Chimpanzee who for years was believed to be a half-human/half-chimp hybrid. Oliver walked upright like a human being, with his knees forward. He had very little hair. He was able to understand complex instructions. He was only sexually attracted to human females (Oliver once bent over and raped his female owner - and she wasn't even good-looking!) It was no coincidence Stevie was telling us about Oliver on Easter weekend, as in my mind Oliver was quickly overtaking Jesus as the greatest being to ever walk planet earth.
Anyway, here's a little video about Oliver so you can take in the awesomeness yourselves:
As DNA evidence later proved, Oliver wasn't really a human/chimp hybrid, just a chimp that is very very much like a human being (an evolutionary leap, perhaps?), and who also RAWKED to a very great degree.
HOWEVER, Stevie went into great detail about how it actually WAS feasible to have such a hybrid, as human sperm could fertilize a chimp egg or vice versa. He talked about a Russian scientist who did all sorts of breeding experiments between humans and apes, although he lost his government funding before any of them came to fruition (Communist pussies). Stevie also told us about a secret team of scientists in Florida in the 1920's who were rumored to have actually delivered a human-chimp baby. Supposedly, the thing was so awful they had to destroy it. I don't know how they destroyed it, but I like to imagine that they smashed it with a rock, as that would be more dramatic.
That night I went out with my friends Michael Rosenbaum, Pete Alton, and Chris MacDonald. Of course, we talked about nothing else but humanzees. I told them how I was on the fence about actually having children, but if I could have a humanzee son I would do it in a second. We all agreed it would be super cool if we each had a humanzee son who could hang out with us. They would be the perfect compatriots - we could give them lots of love and teach them how to do complex tasks. But we could also put them in a cage in the backseat when we were bored with them. Maybe we'd cut up an apple and put it in there for them to eat.
While we were driving from party to club to party we would watch the Oliver YouTube videos on Rosenbaum's iPhone. I knew this wasn't the safest thing, watching videos while I was driving on the 405 Freeway on a Friday at midnight surrounded by drunks. But I also knew if we died in a fiery crash, my friends and family would understand if they knew we were watching humanzee videos, because humanzees are super-interesting.
While we were hanging out at a hip club in Hollywood, I looked at my friend Pete. Pete's a great friend, and I really love him, but I realized in that moment I would be a lot happier if he was a humanzee.
|
|
< |  |
It would be really incredible if it was me and Rosey and Chris hanging out with a humanzee instead of Pete. It would be especially cool if the humanzee was wearing cool clothing - maybe he'd get a little suit custom made wherever midgets get their suits made. The humanzee most likely wouldn't have a lot of money, as humanzees are probably ridiculously stupid - whatever money they did make they'd spend on candy and glittery objects and human women who would overcome their disgust at having sex with them for large amounts of cash. But, I swear to God, I'd GIVE the little fucker the money to buy the custom-made humanzee suit. What would be better than that? First of all, EVERYTHING the humanzee would do would be interesting. Even something boring, like drinking a martini or smoking a clove cigarette would be neat to see a humanzee do. Secondly, he'd be great in a bar fight. Chimpanzees have EIGHT TIMES the strength of human beings. That means a humanzee has FOUR TIMES the strength of a human being. But he'd be tiny, so it wouldn't be expected. Thirdly, I think we'd get a lot of attention with a humanzee. Girls would definitely want their pictures taken with him, and I'm pretty sure they'd be amazed at the rapport I had with the humanzee. I'd be like the hunky jock who's really nice to his retarded little brother. That's a pretty attractive feature in a guy.
I don't even know what a real humanzee would look like. But it would probably be pretty cool and also would creep you out.
As I sat there in the club, I realized I've made so many of my dreams in life come true - I've written and directed movies, I've made a lot of money, I've had sex with beautiful women - that I am now fantasizing about really strange things, like having a humanzee as a best friend.
So be it. At the very least, he'd never, ever, ever blather on about how a fucking air-conditioner works. A humanzee would not have the slightest idea. He'd just be like, "Wow, when I flick this button I'm not so hot anymore. It's magic!"
Actually, in that respect, I guess I am kind of like a humanzee.
THE CUT! FILM FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND! - NEW SUPER-SPECIAL GUEST!
Speaking of humanzees, Michael Rooker is one of the many fine guests on at this Sunday's CUT! film festival SLiTHER screening and panel at the New Beverly in Los Angeles.
Michael Rooker and fellow humanzee Nick Holmes fighting for a piece of fruit, chuman-style.
In addition to the announced guests - myself, Rooker, Gregg Henry (who's been amazing on THE RICHES), composer Tyler Bates, and FX maestro Todd Masters - I'm pleased to announce a new SPECIAL SURPRISE GUEST to our panel - MR. NATHAN FILLION.
That's right, Browncoats. Those of you in the L.A. area can now proceed to have a Whedongasm. Ol' Nate will be joining us on the panel, perhaps sharing with us tales of how he's into a good Furry orgy now and again.
Honestly, it's going to be a lot of fun. It'll be awesome seeing the movie in a theater (which is the very best way to experience SLiTHER) and having the whole gang together once more.
The SLiTHER screening is at 4 pm this Sunday, March 30 at the New Beverly Cinema, 7165 West Beverly Blvd. (One block East of La Brea), Los Angeles, CA. You can find more information about tickets, etc, at the CUT website -- http://www.cut2008.net/
Come up and introduce yourself. I don't bite.
Go fuck yourselves, James
Cheap Trick
I recently read the book SHAKE SOME ACTION, by John M. Borack, which listed the "Top 200 Power Pop Albums of All Time." Although Borack's list was quite a bit different from what mine would be, I enjoyed it immensely, and it inspired me to write a list of my favorite 100 power pop songs... which quickly became my favorite 150 power pop songs... and then my favorite 200... But I couldn't leave "Fox on the Run" or Skycyle off my list... so I finally settled on a nice, round 250 songs. My obsessive compulsion has its advantages. Well, at least if you're a power pop fan reading this blog...
"What's power pop?"
This is the question every person asks me after asking "What type of music are you into?" There's been whole books written on the subject, as well as a wonky Wikipedia page, and they don't answer the question that well, so I'm not sure how I can do. But my answer is usually something like this: traditional pop song arrangements that focus on hooks and melodies, but that often have a harder, rockier thrust. However, that only describes the power pop I personally like best. Carl Cafarelli in "Shake Some Action" describes it in the following way:
"In strictest terms, power pop is literally pop music with power, catchy tunes with an attitude. It refers to an energetic interpretation of pop rock, based in equal parts on melodic hooks and killer instinct. It takes obvious inspiration from mid-1960's rock 'n' roll, especially from groups like the Beatles, The Kinks, and the early Who. From about 1977 onward, it has frequently absorbed a recognizable influence from the ragin' rhythms of punk."
Well, why the fuck not. Let's go with that.
For me, power pop was birthed by the above-mentioned bands in the '60's, but was truly created by the big five - Big Star, the Raspberries, Todd Rundgren, Badfinger, and Cheap Trick - in the early-to-mid '70's. New wave bands like the Knack, Squeeze, and the dB's, and punk bands like the Ramones, helped to hammer it into shape in the late '70's and early '80s, and today's post-modern purveyors continue to add new wrinkles every year.
"How did you decide what bands belong on this list?"
I hunted and poked and came up with whom I came up with below. I normally left off bands who may have had a power pop song or two, but weren't generally considered power pop overall; Alice Cooper's Under My Wheels, The Old 97's Rollerskate Skinny, or The Clash's Hateful, for example, weren't included because Alice, the Olds, and The Clash aren't really power pop bands. Other bands that sidle power pop, but aren't quite, like Elvis Costello and The Replacements, I also left off the list. And I didn't include the piano pop sub-genre of power pop that would include great bands like the Ben Folds Five and Fluid Ounces. I DID include punk power pop bands; although Borack slides past them in his book, there's no doubt in my mind that The Ramones and The Buzzcocks are pure power pop.
"You're missing ______!
How could you leave them off, you cocksucker?!"
First of all, calling me a cocksucker is a little harsh. It's only a list, and everyone's tastes are different. (Note: This is a list of my FAVORITE power pop songs not the GREATEST power pop songs - it's completely subjective.) There are a lot of classic power pop bands I may appreciate but really don't enjoy much - The Shoes, 20/20, and Dwight Twilley, for instance. Overall, I definitely lean toward the harder-edged, rockier power pop of Cheap Trick (5 songs), The Wannadies (7 songs), and The Ramones (4 songs), or the more extravagant indie power pop bands like Apples in Stereo (6 songs) or Sloan (5 songs).
In making this list, I have to thank Jordan Oakes, who lovingly compiled the Yellow Pills compilations, John M. Borack , Joe Williams, my friend and CD-compilation maker, and Not Lame Records, the number one purveyor of great power pop (please check them out at www.notlame.com).
Also, you can check out a very truncated downloadable version of this list on iTunes at MY 100 FAVORITE POWER POP TUNES SONGS AVAILABLE ON ITUNES.
Here goes. Enjoy -
1. Surrender - Cheap Trick
2. Erica's Word - Game Theory
3. Pulling Mussels (From the Shell) - Squeeze
4. Calling All Destroyers - Tsar
5. Goin' Through Your Purse - Material Issue
6. These Others - Vandalias
7. Good Girls Don't - The Knack
8. Late - Trip Shakespeare
9. Cruel to Be Kind - Nick Lowe
10. Gimme Love - The Swingers
11. Go All the Way - Raspberries
12. Why Bother? - Weezer
13. Crybaby - Utopia
14. Down Like Me - Ken Stringfellow
15. Alright - The Lost Patrol
16. Headache -Frank Black
17. Golden Blunders - The Posies
18. The KKK Took My Baby Away - The Ramones
19. Town Called Malice - The Jam
20. Highschool - Flashing Lights
21. Couldn't I Just Tell You - Todd Rundgren
22. Can't Make Your Life - Lilys
23. Your Love Is the Place Where I Come From - Teenage Fanclub
24. Indy 500 - Girlpope
25. Don't Deflate - Starling
26. Yellow & Blue - Ice Cream Hands
27. She Digs Her - You Am I
28. Teenage Kicks - The Undertones
29. Counting the Beat - The Swingers
30. Going Underground - The Jam
31. Dear Scene, I Wish I Were Deaf - Nightmare of You
32. Get Over It - Ok Go
33. He's a Whore - Cheap Trick
34. The Ghost at Number One - Jellyfish
35. This 'n' That - Silver Sun
36. The Rest of My Life - Sloan
37. Been Waiting - The Flashing Lights
38. Turn It Around - Steve Ward
39. The Way I Want to Be - The Village Green
40. Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
41. The Ballad of El Goodo - Big Star
42. I Don't Want Control of You - Teenage Fanclub
43. Sick of Myself - Matthew Sweet
44. She's So Young - The Pursuit of Happiness
45. Melanie - The Nines
46. Sun - The Toms
47. Opportunites - You Am I
48. Up the Junction - Squeeze
49. Homemade Movie Queen - Ray Wonder
50. About Your Fame - The Apples in Stereo
51. Taking Up Space -The Cavedogs
52. Nothing Wrong - The Wannadies
53. I Just Threw Out the Love of My Life - Weezer & Rachel Hayden
54. The Kind of Day I Had - Dum Dums
55. Keep the Home Fires Burning - The Bluetones
56. Dawn Can't Decide - The Lemonheads
57. Sucked Out - Superdrag
58. Hurt Me - The Odds
59. Wish It Would Rain - Roger Joseph Manning Jr.
60. Dumb - Silver Sun
61. Gene Autry - Beulah
62. Losing California - Sloan
63. Buzzbomb - Vandalias
64. Earn Enough for Us - XTC
65. Mary Provost - Nick Lowe
66. Disaster - Frisbie
67. Jesse's Girl - Rick Springfield
68. I'm Shakin' - Rooney
69. Mule - Wille Wisely
70. Across the Sea - Weezer
71. When Did Your Heart Go Missing? - Rooney
72. Madame Helga - Stereophonics
73. Someone Somewhere - The Wannadies
74. There She Goes -The Las
75. Do Anything You Wanna Do - Eddie and the Hot Rods
76. Charity at Home - Vandalias
77. Those Words - Eggstone
78. Needles and Pins - The Ramones
79. I Want to Be Buried in Your Backyard - Nightmare of You
80. Built in Girls - Wrens
81. Purple Sneakers - You Am I
82. No Tomorrow - Orson
83. The Big Lie - Gigolo Aunts
84. 24 - Game Theory
85. Understanding Jane - The Icicle Works
86. Whenever You're on My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw
87. Wish List - Jets to Brazil
88. Nobody Knows - Raspberries
89. Oh Tara - The Knack
90. Electric Chair - The Dolls (featuring Jane Jensen)
91. I Can't Take It - Cheap Trick
92. I Need Love - Sam Phillips
93. It Hurts Too Much - Eric Carmen
94. Ever Fallen in Love - Buzzcocks
95. No Matter What - Badfinger
96. Cigarette Lighter Love Song - Marvelous 3
97. Permanent - Arthur Yoria
98. New Mistake - Jellyfish
99. Trees - The Lovehammers
100. A Spy in the House of Love - dB's
101. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
102. Different Girl - Swag
103. Love Is the Answer - Utopia
104. Benefits of Lying (With Your Friend) - Apples in Stereo
105. Maybe Tonight - The Knack
106. Ride - The Montgomery Cliffs
107. Junk - Brainpool
108. Under the Light of the Moon - The Merrymakers
109. No One Told Him - Vandalias
110. Hollow Head - Sloan
111. My Mind - The Scruffs
112. Fallen Angels - Bill Boll
113. You and Me Song - The Wannadies
114. This Year's Jessica - The Beatifics
115. Stupid Thing to Say - Treble Charger
116. Everybody Gets What They Deserve - The Churchills
117. The Bird That You Can't See - The Apples in Stereo
118. Comets - Brian Stevens
119. The Genius - True Love
120. Yearbook - Splitsville
121. Baby It's Cold Outside - Pezband
122. No One Else (acoustic version) - Weezer
123. Dragonfly - The Sun Sawed in 1/2
124. I Don't Wanna Break Up - Tsar
125. Get High - All Day Sucker
126. Shorty - The Wannadies
127. She Looks Like You - Arthur Yoria
128. She Reduces Me - Paper Airplane Pilots
129. Gee Angel - Sugar
130. Wednesday Girl - The Montgomery Cliffs
131. The Way She Drives - Ice Cream Hands
132. April's Fool - The Merrymakers
133. Caught By the Fuzz - Supergrass
134. Down with Peter Green - The Mayflies USA
135. Call Me - Arthur Yoria
136. Horse & Carriage - Calamine
137. MONoSTEReo - Tsar
138. Uri Geller - The Wannadies
139. That's What the Little Girls Do - The Knack
140. I Just Wanna Stay at Home - The Blondes
141. It's Up to You - The Tuesdays
142. The Good Life - Weezer
143. I Was Never a Normal Boy - Nightmare of You
144. How Good It Can Be - The 88
145. Same Old Drag - The Apples in Stereo
146. Your Number or Your Name - The Knack
147. Don't Want to Say Goodbye - Raspberries
148. Leave Me Alone - The Cavedogs
149. Smallville - Brainpool
150. Weight The Can't Be Carried - Heavy Blinkers
151. Oh Yes (It's a Mess) - The Wannadies
152. Daisy Duke - Rooney
153. Hoover Dam - Sugar
154. Head On - The Jesus and Mary Chain
155. You Said That Last Night - The Apples in Stereo
156. I'll Come Down - The Davenports
157. Nothing Lasts Forever - Copperpot
158. Gray - You Am I
159. Thirteen - Big Star
160. Take the World - Blow Pops
161. Cannot Love You Enough - Willie Wisely
162. A Notice to Everyone (The Cops Are Pissed) - The Model Rockets
163. Ruin Everything - The Maroons
164. Everybody Knows - This Perfect Day
165. Cruel Girl - The Red Button
166. All in Your Head - Rooney
167. Jade - The Waking Hours
168. It's the Night Time - Josh Rouse
169. She Came On - Super Deluxe
170. How Can Love Hurt So Much - The Knack
171. Newark Needs Insurance - Bill Boll
172. El Scorcho - Weezer
173. Slackjawed - The Connells
174. Thinking Out Loud - The Mayflies USA
175. Alison's Starting to Happen - The Lemonheads
176. Hide Another Mistake - The 88
177. Hot Dog - Eugenius
178. Next Time - Three Hour Tour
179. A Good Man Is Easy to Kill - Beulah
180. Message '78 - Myracle Brah
181. Into the Crowd - Brainpool
182. Love is for Lovers - dB's
183. Phone Call No. 27 - Admiral Twin
184. Monkey in the Middle - The Merrymakers
185. A Million Miles Away - The Plimsouls
186. What in the World - Richard X. Heyman
187. Girlfriend - Uptown Sinclair
188. Do Re Mi - Every Single Saturday
189. Crash - Primitives
190. Can You Feel It? - The Apples in Stereo
191. Someone Who's Cool - The Odds
192. In Quintessence - Squeeze
193. That's What They Do - Holiday with Maggie
194. I Saw the Light - Todd Rundgren
195. Let's Be Friends Again - The Toms
196. Bliss - Fuzzbubble
197. Everything's Going Your Way - Love Nut
198. Anything, Anything - Dramarama
199. So It Goes - Nick Lowe
200. Everything You've Done Wrong - Sloan
201. Letter from an Occupant - The New Pornographers
202. My Brain is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes to Bitburg) - The Ramones
203. False Alarm - Sloan
204. Tonight It's You - Cheap Trick
205. Out of My Head - Fastball
206. Song One - The Argument
207. Hysterical - The Blakes
208. Back of My Hand - Jags
209. I Like You a Lalalala Lot - The Wannadies
210. Radiation Vibe - Fountains of Waync
211. Thinking About You - Michael Carpenter
212. Directly from the Heart - The Innocents
213. She's So High - Tal Bachman
214. Hard Cold Stone - Stingray Green
215. Annie Get Your Gun - Squeeze
216. That's Rock 'n Roll - Eric Carmen
217. Alright - Supergrass
218. All - Skycycle
219. Senses Working Overtime- XTC
220. From Blown Speakers - The New Pornographers
221. Timpani Heart - The Sun Sawed in 1/2
222. Parador - Wisely
223. Someday, Someway - Marshall Crenshaw
224. Damage - You Am I
225. Sorrow (Boots of Pain) - The Cavedogs
226. The Fan - Material Issue
227. We Got to Be Good to Each Other - Ray Wonder
228. Bad Karma - The Montgomery Cliffs
229. Ontario - The Posies
230. Hyde Street Virgins - The Loud Family
231. Fox on the Run - Sweet
232. Bruised - The Bens
233. Stuff and Nonsense - Split Enz
234. Papercup - Brainpool
235. Fifteen - You Am I
236. Always Carry On> - The Spongetones
237. But I'm Different Now - The Jam
238. I May Hate You Sometimes - The Posies
239. Every Day I Fall in Love Again - Linus of Hollywood
240. Heaven's Falling - Cheap Trick
241. The Weakest Shade of Blue - The Pernice Brothers
242. Black Coffee in Bed - Squeeze
243. Does It Even Matter - Myracle Brah
244. Infatuation - The Spongetones
245. I Could Use You - Material Issue
246. Danny Says - The Ramones
247. Get Up - You Am I
248. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late - Jellyfish
249. I Don't Mind - Buzzcocks
250. Don't Tell Me - The Shivvers
The above is all going to change in a matter of days.
And, unless you get easily ill, go see CLOVERFIELD! You can read everything I had to say about it by signing up at www.jgas.org, and going to my personal forum.
Bye,
James
What happens in Vegas... shoulda definitely never fucking happened in Vegas.
So I took my buddy Stevie Blackehart on a birthday trip to Vegas, and it JUST SO HAPPENED that the trip coincided with the AVN Adult Awards and convention, and it JUST SO HAPPENED that my pals Aiden Kelly and Belladonna offered Stevie and I free trade passes...
Even though Bella is my number 1 Arch-MySpace-Blogging-Rival, Stevie and I just couldn't pass it up.
Of course the moment we arrived Stevie started giggling like a schoolgirl and wanted to have photos taken with all of his favorite adult stars. Since this was his day, I obliged.
Stevie kept telling these dudes to "reach in his coffee cup", but none of them fell for it. They'd all seen the Dick in Box video. (Unfortunately, I hadn't -- I'll never drink Starbucks again without thinking of the porridgey feel and rancid odor of Stevie's syphillitic penis).
And let's not forget John Wayne Bobbitt, more penis-y than he's been in years.
The lines were long for all of MY favorite adult stars, so I thought I'd try something new -- I just had my picture taken with some of the fans who were standing in line. Hard to believe -- but none of these guys had a single person standing in line waiting to have their picture taken with them.
That last guy? I fucked him.
I'm kidding!! I just blew him.
I'm kidding again! He raped me.
That time I'm not kidding. That dude's a fucking dick.
(Don't sue me, strange camera dude.)
I was very pleased to be recognized many times daily. It's good to know my biggest fans are fucking perverts.
At one point, I looked over to see these women tossing something out to the crowd, and dudes going crazy fighting over them...
I didn't know what it was until a woman nearby showed me...
(NOTE: My video of the FLESHLIGHT, a plastic vagina tube made to have sex with, was removed by PHOTOBUCKET as "inappropriate content." I don't quite get it - it just looks like a little butt to me. But imagine you're watching a video of it now - or you can see it now at www.fleshlight.com. Then go on.)
I had just witnessed my first ever VAGINA TOSS - these dudes were all fighting over PLASTIC THINGS TO FUCK!
I've never tried to fuck one of those things but I honestly think my hand would feel more fleshy and vagina-like. Just a thought. God loves ugly men so he gave them the closest thing to a vagina (after a vagina or a woman's mouth) attached to the end of their arms. Thank you, God (but not thank you as much as I would if there was a woman's mouth in the palm of my hand).
But I guess that plastic dealie was the closest most of the dudes in this crowd were going to get to a vagina that isn't attached to them... (but I kid the perverts. These guys are all getting tons of pussy.)
The truth is, I had a ball at the convention. Sure, there are a fair amount of scumbuckets around -- but I think the scumbucket ratio is pretty similar, maybe even less, than what it is at the Cannes Film Festival. Have any of you ever met an ICM agent? I'd take an Evil Angel rep over those fuckers any day.
And while there I hung out with my old friend Jason Green who worked on TROMEO & JULIET and now runs PARADISE VISUALS, I met Richard Christy from the Howard Stern Show (whose scrotum waxing on Sirius was probably the highlight of my 2007), and I had an incredible gourmet French dinner with Aiden, Bella, Jules Jordan, Jenna Haze, Bobbi Starr, and her dude Michael.
There's probably more to tell about our Vegas trip, but I actually caught a bug while I was there and need to go to sleep. Just a little touch of the HIV. I'm pretty sure it'll be gone by the weekend.
I love you,
James
My 8 Favorite Movies
1) No Country for Old Men
2) Once
3) The King of Kong
4) Superbad
5) Juno
6) Bourne Ultimatum
7) Breach
8) Planet Terror
A lot of my friends dig at No Country for Old Men, calling it skilled but emotionless. I don't fucking get it. I started crying during the scene between Javier Bardem and Kelly MacDonald near the end of the film, and couldn't stop for a good hour and a half after the movie was over (and, honesly, I'm getting choked up now just thinking about it.) The movie starts with Tarantino-like violent fun and leads us into someplace far bleaker, more moral, and heartbroken -- and it's one of the greatest novel adaptations ever.
Why only 8 films? Because after this you move into films I like a lot but don't love -- like Eastern Promises, 3:10 to Yuma, and There Will Be Blood -- three movies with an incredible first two acts which, for me, fall apart a bit in the third. Or Michael Clayton, which I liked a whole lot... but I don't know if I liked it as much as the three films with the weird third acts. Whatever, it was a big jump to 9 so I just decided to keep it pure. It's all arbitrary anyway.
Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I have seen less movies this year than any year of my life. I went a few months where I was too distracted to even sit down and watch a film. Because of this, I'm sure I've missed some gems (and I'm sure you cocksuckers will point them out to me in the comments below).
My 5 Favorite Movie Scenes
1) Naked Viggo Mortensen fights two dudes to the death in the shower in Eastern Promises.
2) Glen Hansard teaches Marketa Irglova how to sing Falling Slowly in the music store in Once.
3) The very end of The Savages.
4) Javier Bardem and Kelly Macdonald discuss her future in No Country for Old Men.
5) The opening sequence in There Will Be Blood.
My 25 Favorite Songs
1) Tears Dry on Their Own Amy Winehouse
2) Falling Slowly Glen Hansard & Market Irglova
3) Fluorescent Adolescent Arctic Monkeys
4) Stupid for You (Acoustic Version) Marie Digby
5) When Did Your Heart Go Missing Rooney
6) Lies Glen Hansard
7) I'll Kill Her Soko
8) Same Old Drag The Apples in Stereo
9) Mindy (Le Findy) For Ex-Lovers Only
10) I Was Never a Normal Boy Nightmare of You
11) The Mesopotamians They Might Be Giants
12) Once and Never Again The Long Blondes
13) Can You Feel It The Apples in Stereo
14) Right Moves- Josh Ritter
15) Say It to Me Now Glen Hansard
16) Cruel Girl The Red Button
17) Hang Around Ice Cream Hands
18) Password Morten Richter
19) My Home Town The Innocents
20) Potential Breakup Song Aly & AJ
21) All in Your Head Rooney
22) Umbrella Marie Digby
23) I Taught Myself to Grow Old Ryan Adams
24) Nothin' No David Vandervelde
25) All In the Way You Found Me Richard X. Heyman
I have made an iTunes list of these songs for your pleasure at http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=271206627.
It was a great year for individual tunes -- my top five are the kind of songs that I repeat six or seven times when they come up on my iPod. I really agonized over whether to include the Once songs, since many of them were previously recorded with The Frames or Hansard solo (and, yes, agonized is the right word -- I'm just that fucking neurotic). But, because they were new recordings for the film, I included them.
My 5 Favorite Albums
1) Calling the World Rooney
2) Once (Music from the Motion Picture) Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
3) New Magnetic Wonder The Apples in Stereo
4) She's About to Cross My Mind The Red Button
5) Back to Black Amy Winehouse
It was a hard call between Rooney and Once for the top spot -- but, in the end, I love every track on that damn Rooney album and I couldn't deny it 1.
My 3 Favorite TV Dramas
1) Lost
2) The Wire
3) Dexter
My 3 Favorite TV Comedies
1) The Office
2) 30 Rock
3) Flight of the Conchords
My Favorite Magazine
Mental Floss
My Favorite New Animal
The Crow
Well, okay, it's not a new animal. But the Crow now stands besides my other favorite creatures the platypus, the hippo, and the dog. Why? Because they're so fucking smart. Earlier I posted a video of a crow forming a tool to get food. Just as good is this portion of a Richard Attenborough BBC documentary
My Favorite Viral Videos
Strong Kids, Safe Kids!
Yes, I've posted it here before. But it's so beautiful, it's worth seeing again, isn't it?
My Favorite Novel
I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle
My 5 Favorite My Own Blogs
1) 50 Ways to Call Someone a Cocksucker in a Compliment (July 24) 2) Secrets of Amsterdam's Red Light District (May 1) 3) Demo Derby: The Threequel (October 25) 4) My Day at the Derby and the L.A. County Fair, in Pictures (October 2) 5) The Creepiest Things You'll Ever See (September 26)
The only reason for the strike - and don't believe anything to the contrary - is that the studios have refused to pay writers (and screen actors, and directors) residuals on new media. When you download a movie from Amazon or a TV show on iTunes, the people who created that content, who devised it, wrote it, acted in it, and directed it, get exactly 0% of the profits. And the studios want it to stay that way.
The WGA was asking for an increase in the residuals made on DVD sales (unlike new media, creators make a small percentage off of DVD and VHS sales, pay-per-view showings, TV sales, etc). For months now the studios have said that this was the reason the contract couldn't be closed. However, at the 11th hour - last night - the WGA took that off the table. It came down to new media and only new media. And the studios refused to budge.
This strike is absolutely not a matter of the rich getting richer. We're not striking because of guys like me who have made numerous feature films, or guys like Greg Daniels who have created popular TV shows. This is for middle-class writers - your regular TV staff writers and people who may have done one or two small feature films. Residuals are a way they can make perhaps a few thousand dollars a year between gigs. This is a way they can put food on the table and pay the rent during downtime - and downtime is something almost all writers (and actors and directors) have.
And the writers guild are striking not only for themselves - they're striking for the actors and directors as well. Most likely, whatever deal we agree to is the same deal the actors and directors will get when their contracts are up later this year.
None of the TV shows or movies you watch would exist without us, the people who created them, who poured our hearts and souls into the making of them. And yet, again, the studios think that only they should be making the money off of them. And new media is exceptionally important - in just a few years that may be the way most of us experience most of our entertainment.
I've gotten a lot of messages from MySpace folks worried about me or my various projects. The truth is, as long as the strike ends in the next thirty to forty years, I should be personally fine. And, to be quite honest, I'm excited about the break. I'm working on some smaller, non-studio, non-guild related projects with my brothers Brian and Sean, and with the LOLLILOVE crew of Pete Alton and Stevie Blackehart. This is stuff that really fires me up.
As for my big projects, PETS is definitely on hold, as I'm in the middle of writing the script, and can't turn anything in until the strike is over. THE BELCOO EXPERIMENT is a different story - the script is completely finished, my deal with the producers is done, and I could direct it if we all chose to do that. But would I want to commit to a movie that I wouldn't have the freedom to rewrite even if I wanted to?
However, although the strike for me is, in some ways, a good thing, I recognize how shitty it is for the rest of the industry, and the city of Los Angeles in general, so I want it to end quickly. I can't help but think of all the crew people who are going to lose jobs because of this, or the Burbank waiters and waitresses whose tips are going to dry up as the work around them does - not to mention the strippers across the LA area whose g-strings rely on writers and actors being flush with cash. Let's end this fucking strike for the strippers, okay?
Not to mention you guys, the audience. You're going to start to feel it right away with the late-night talk shows that are going to disappear or get real crappy real quick. And, if it lasts for a bit, you're going to lose out on the second half of the seasons of your favorite TV shows (already, WGA member Steve Carell didn't show up to set, so this season of THE OFFICE could be kaput after the next few already-shot episodes.) The studios will also rush movies into production with unfinished scripts which means, in a little less than a year from now, you're going to see the shittiest movies of all time.
So for their stinginess, their greed, and their overall bullshit, the studios can go fuck themselves. And not in a nice way either.
Be good,
James
Click here to read the 2005 Updates Archive.