JamesGunn.com – Official Website for James Gunn

Check out Stryker fucking up takes by laughing!  And see how the crew thought I wasn’t acting and was actually a raging lunatic!  Here it be, courtesy of editor Pete Alton and dp Nick Holmes…

 

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BEHIND THE SCENES ON JAMES GUNN’S PG PORN: ROADSIDE ASS-ISTANCE…

I just got home from my brother Sean’s and saw that the new PG PORN episode, ROADSIDE ASS-ISTANCE, with myself and Sasha Grey, just went up.  You can check it out by –

clicking HERE and going to Spike.com/pgporn.

Ms. Sasha Grey.

Please do me a favor, and sign-up and RATE and COMMENT on the piece on Spike’s web site.  It will help a lot.  And, even more so, please post bulletins here on MySpace and email it out to all your friends – even your old 2nd grade teacher Sister Rapheline, who is probably not-at-all horny and is jonesing for some porn with absolutely no fucking whatsoever!   Come on, you know she loved NEW WAVE HOOKERS 2 for the plot alone!

A little something for the ladies…

But, honestly, we really need YOUR help in spreading the word.

Below are a few facts from the set of JAMES GUNN’S PG PORN: ROADSIDE ASS-ISTANCE:

-    This was actually the first episode of PG PORN we shot, before NAILING YOUR WIFE – it was, essentially, the pilot.  We shot it over a year ago.
-    Although this was the first episode, Sasha wasn’t the first adult actress on board the PG PORN SERIES.  That was Belladonna, who we cast in GENITAL HOSPITAL (the 2nd episode we shot).  But Bella’s schedule was busy at the time, and she wasn’t able to immediately shoot like Sasha was.
-    The budget was under $2,000.00.
-    Many people will notice a joke in this is similar to a joke in the fake trailer from SCREAM QUEENS that ended up being the “Clip of the Year” on Talk Soup.   That is, the “And by record, I mean, ‘VAGINA’” moment.  We actually shot this joke first.  The morning we were going to shoot the SCREAM QUEENS trailer, I decided to throw this joke in there, thereby ripping myself off.  Because getting the Clip of the Year on Talk Soup was the proudest moment of my life, I don’t regret it.
-    Sasha Grey came in remarkably prepared – she knew her lines backwards and forwards and had the whole thing worked out.  Unlike a lot of adult actresses, she is even prettier in person than she is on screen.
-    After this, Sasha Grey was cast as the lead role in Steven Soderbergh’s new film, THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE.  Although she never told me this was due to her performance in PG PORN, I’ll take for granted that this is the case.
-    Brian and Sean and Pete Alton helped a lot in directing this thing, since I was on screen the whole time.  Trying to focus on both can be frustrating at times.  This was the first time I had directed myself in a scene since my cameo in SLiTHER.
-    The kittens featured in the episode were cute as fuck.  We borrowed them from a Kitten Rescue foster mother and gave Kitten Rescue a sizable donation in return.  
-    But those little guys were still a pain in the ass to shoot, and kept crawling out of the box and getting away.
-    Although it was the first episode we shot, Tyler Bates didn’t do the score for it until last week. I think his music really helps the piece move along.  A few people have asked me if they could get the music for PG PORN – well, we’re working on a deal with iTunes to carry all of Tyler’s score for the pieces.  I’ll let you know when and if it happens.

Okay, that’s it for now.  I’ll answer all your questions below.  And we’ll be posting more behind the scenes on Spike next week.  Thanks for helping to spread the word – my brothers, Pete, Sasha, myself, and the whole PG PORN gang truly appreciates it!  

The creators of PG PORN: Brian Gunn, me, Sean Gunn

Go not-fuck yourselves,
James

HELLS YEAH!

All photos by John Sampson. TOP L to R: Jessica, Sarah, Michelle, Lindsay. BOTTOM L to R: Tanedra, Angela, Lina.

This was perhaps my favorite episode of all to make. I really felt like I was directing for the first time. In the other directing challenges, I was giving the girls notes on their acting. But in shooting the trailer for REFORM SCHOOL ZOMBIE SQUAD I felt like we were creating something fun and funny and stupid and cool. The girls and the whole SCREAM QUEENS crew were my creative partners in fulfilling this ludicrous vision, and I think all of us had a fantastic time. One of the reasons I love directing more than writing is that it’s truly a collaborative medium. This was the episode where I felt like I got to know the girls a little more. Here’s the whole trailer for your enjoyment:

The day we shot that trailer was also my birthday – the producers got me a cake and sang me Happy Birthday and everything. And, to top it off, I got to hang out with my brother Sean all day. Sean was awesome in the trailer – almost all of the funny stuff he says – "Hells yeah", "Zombie jump!", "You were brought here against your will," and so on – was his improv.

TRIVIA FACT about this week’s episode: We actually shot a one-episode pilot for SCREAM QUEENS, with a different set of girls than who ended up on the show. John Homa and I were in the pilot, but we had a different host. The names of the girls in the pilot were the names Caleb Emerson used for the characters in the REFORM SCHOOL ZOMBIE SQUAD script.

THE DISEMBODIED HEAD CHALLENGE

As I’ve said before, one of the fun things about watching the SCREAM QUEENS episodes as they come out is that I’m seeing other parts of the show for the first time – such as the disembodied head challenge.

I had heard from the producers and from the VH1 execs that this was one of the most problematic sequences in the whole show, as none of the girls really did that well. I’m only privy to the same snippets of performances as you are, the ones in the show – but from seeing those, I’d have to agree. Michelle and Lina in particular came off poorly. Michelle was doing her Don-Knotts-from-Ghost-and-Mr.-Chicken-only-not-so-subtle thing again, and Lina was off in her Lower East side bad performance art mode.

Honestly, from what I saw, I actually liked Jessica the BEST in the disembodied head challenge. Hear me out. Her choice may have been ridiculous, and was definitely shocking. But it was bold, and I believed her more than the others. And Jessica just seemed more in the moment then the others. Lindsay won – and she was definitely in the top two – but in the short clip we saw of her, I saw her working in her eyes.

Again, though, I’m only seeing the small clips we’re seeing. It’s very possible, even likely, that Lindsay’s performance overall was much better than Jessica’s. But not in what I saw on TV.

Anyway – here’s a little rundown of the girls and their performances…

LINDSAY

Lindsay was the first to audition in front of me, Sean, and Caleb. I asked her who she was most excited about playing, and she mentioned Lowena, the "tough girl from the streets." Lindsay read the role and, at first, she really rocked. She was very funny. But as the audition went on, Lindsay became more and more nervous. Her hand was trembling. And because of it, her audition grew worse – this despite that Caleb, Sean, and I were responding very positively to her. Lindsay had talent, but it seemed like something psychologically was getting in the way.

However, this didn’t hurt her performance on set. She was hilarious. She also showed good improvisational skills when she was beating up the zombie – something that’s important to me as a director, because I often throw new lines at actors while we’re shooting. I laughed out loud every time she made her tough girl face and threatened the camera with her switchblade.

I had been underwhelmed by Lindsay in the past, but I started seeing her as a real contender (even though her nervousness in the audition still worried me.)

MICHELLE

I made every girl who auditioned read Channon the prostitute – simply because I thought her vagina line was the funniest in the script, and I wanted somebody who could pull it off. At first, it was a bit depressing. None of the girls made Sean, Caleb, and me laugh – and I was afraid the joke was going to be lost. Then Michelle came in and nailed it.

There was a whole competition within the competition this week that was cut out of the final episode. As we shot the trailer, I had to pick one girl who performed the best, and that girl would win a role in HUMANZEE, SPARKY AND MIKAELA, or another one of my New Media projects. Michelle was the standout – she won the role and will be seen in a future James Gunn production. Sorry to you Michelle-haters out there – but, I think you can see in this episode, even her confessional footage mellowed out a bit after the beating we gave her in the Grand Ballroom the week before.

A few other things about Michelle in this episode:

1) She took beating the zombie with the stick a little too far, and actually hurt the dude. The guy got PISSED.

2) When Michelle says, "And did you see the connection in the eyes?", she’s not just saying that out of nowhere, bragging about her performance. I actually told her immediately before that I didn’t see her connecting with Sean – she seemed vacant in the eyes, saying her line comedically, but without any reality behind it. I asked her to change it and she was just making sure that she did (and she did).

3) One of my personal favorite lines came out of me this week – "Really hit that vagina harder!" I absolutely didn’t realize what I was saying as I said it – I just meant "put more emphasis on the word ‘vagina.’" But as soon as it came out of my mouth I realized what I had just said and started laughing.

TANEDRA

I think Tanedra was at a bit of a disadvantage this week. She was probably the best in the auditions. The role of Carrie was the lead, and she was the most believable. However, because the role wasn’t really that funny – Carrie was the straight woman – it didn’t get as much attention as a showcase role like Sarah’s, Lindsay’s, or Michelle’s. However, she served the needs of the script, and that’s the most important thing an actor can do.

If you look at Tanedra’s face at the end of the episode, she looks a bit frustrated and pissed off. As I later discovered, that was at least in part because I was focusing my directorial attentions a lot more on the other girls. I think I was trying to find the jokes there, and bring them out. Sometimes my lack of attention to Tanedra just meant she was doing a good job and she didn’t need any help.

At this point, Tanedra was a bit confusing to me. She came off as a very strong and confident woman, not needing of my attention. But I started to hear that she would get upset or hurt by my lack of notes or praise. I have no problem with actors who need lots of positive feedback and personal attention. BUT I do think that it’s their responsibility to let me know they need this, whether it be in subtle ways or directly asking. I think Tanedra projected one image of herself when, in fact, she was a very sensitive soul. I understand – I am as well. But I wished she took more personal risks with me and shared that. I think it would have been a lot easier for both of us.

My biggest critique of Tanedra was that she holds too much tension in her mouth. Her mouth curls up when she gets nervous (you can see this in the trailer.) There is nothing more important to an actor than the ability to relax, and Tanedra didn’t have it.

Whatever the case, she was one of the best of the week.

SARAH

Sarah was awesome, and it was really a toss-up between her and Michelle for Leading Lady. The most coveted role by the girls was the role of Dana. I have no idea why, because all the character did was scream. In truth, none of their auditions were really great, but I thought Sarah had a possibility of going somewhere with it.

Her performance in the trailer was at first somewhat underwhelming. She was just screaming and that was it. But when I gave her the note that this was a sad, feral girl who had no way of communicating, Sarah got it instantly. Her performance – as ridiculous as it may sound – was somewhat sweet and touching to me. She really took this silly, one-dimensional character to another emotional level.

Also, the delivery of her last line in the trailer – "Good luck, everybody" – was hilarious. When we showed the edited trailer to the members of the crew, it was that line and Michelle’s "vagina" line that got the biggest laughs.

JESSICA

Jessica also got a little screwed this week. In reading for the role of Carrie, the lead, she was our second choice after Tanedra. Unfortunately, she didn’t do great at auditioning for the other roles – her Dana was too frantic, her Channon wasn’t that funny, and so on. So she got stuck with whatever-the-role-she-was-playing-whose-name-I-can’t-remember-now.
Overall, Jessica did a terrific job in the trailer. She was extremely funny and built a character out of next to nothing on the page.

She faltered a bit in one scene, where she had to beat up the zombie tied to a tree (the "poodle" scene in the trailer). She wasn’t believable, and she wasn’t really taking my notes.

BUT she came through in the hot tub with Angela, where she was quite funny. And, of course, she got extra points for stepping in when Lina decided against doing the scene herself.

ANGELA

Let me start off by saying a couple of good things about Angela –

1) In my estimation, only two actresses were able to actually scream at all – Angela and Lindsay. Both their screams were blood-curdling and realistic. But the rest, without exception, sucked. Sucky screaming ain’t a real good quality for a horror movie.

2) As sexy as Angela’s cat burglar outfit was, it was murder to wear. The day we shot the trailer it was extremely hot. Angela would break out in a rash, and, at times, seemed to be close to fainting. Still, she carried on like a trooper without complaining. A couple of times I sent her away to rest because I was afraid she was going to ignore her needs and faint.

3) Angela was really good in the make out scene with Jessica. Caleb and I were tossing improv lines at them – such as "Oh God, this feels so wrong!" When she was performing improv off the cuff, she was fresh and real and believable, however… (the bad part)…

The same couldn’t be said for her memorized lines of dialogue. Her one line about kicking the zombies "mothereffing asses back into the ground," seemed to be a line reading she had practiced phonetically without any real emotion behind it. I tried to get her to say it in different ways, to make it more natural, but she seemed incapable of doing so.

Truthfully, I had been impressed with few of Angela’s performances up to that point. She seemed to be an intelligent girl, but everything seemed planned out without any passion or risks involved. None of her performances had been a train wreck, such as Michelle’s Jonathan-Winters-glass-crawl the week before or Jessica’s junkie-in-a-bathtub. But her highs were never even close to those of those other girls. In the judges’ discussions, she was usually right above whomever we put into the bottom two.

Angela was slipping through the cracks. I had never given her my full focus and, because of that, she had never had a real chance to improve, as Jessica had done in weeks earlier, and Michelle had done this week. So we slammed her hard in the Grand Ballroom – and the emotions that came out of her seemed rawer and more real than anyone yet (I think this is pretty apparent on TV – this is definitely not a girl making herself cry for the sake of the cameras). Her pleas for a second chance were sincere, and I thought she deserved what was likely going to be one more week.

So she didn’t go.

LINA

Ah, Lina. I have a real fondness for Lina, which has grown in all her comments of shit-causing defensiveness in this very blog. I think she’s an entertainer to the core.

But Lina really fucked up this week. I asked her straight up, as I asked all the girls, if there were any roles they didn’t want to play. She lied to me and said no. This happens time and time again on movie sets, where actors are cast in a role that requires nudity or a sex scene of some type, and then the actors back out of it when they get to set. By that time, we’ve usually shot days or weeks with that particular actor; it’s a way of hijacking an entire set. That’s why I learned an early lesson from my mentor, Lloyd Kaufman – "Always shoot the sex scenes on the first day of shooting. Then, if they decide not to do it, you don’t lose much money by firing them and hiring someone else."

But let me make it clear again: I had no problems if Lina didn’t want to make out with a girl. Actors need to know their limitations. How much nudity are you comfortable with? Nothing? Butt? How far are you willing to go with a sex scene? Tongues? Hand on breasts? Everyone has their personal limits (mine is double anal), and those limits should be respected at all times. But a performer needs to know his or her own limits before agreeing to take a role. The truth is, if I was acting in a SCREAM KINGS competition I would have to think twice before I agreed to make out with a dude, as hot and sexy as all you SCREAM KINGS fans out there would find it. So I can’t blame Michelle or Lina for not wanting to make out with a girl (though I can take issue with some of the slightly homophobic remarks last night on the show labeling two girls making out as "not normal" – Lina, are you truly trying to offend every minority group in the entire country? Look for Lina’s new book, "WHY HANDICAPPED PEOPLE ARE PIECES OF SHIT" and the follow up, "FUCK THE MORMONS.")

If Lina had performed better in the week’s challenges, I MIGHT have given her a pass on the lie. But her acting was poor. Sean thought she was the worst in the audition (I thought it was between her and Angela), and he also thought that her ghetto portrayal of the Lowena character was "borderline racist". While shooting the trailer, she definitely wasn’t taking my note to try out some facial expressions besides her Kabuki/Samoan-ritual tongue flicking. I got a pretty big kick out of the tongue thing at first, but it kept going on and on and on and on… I asked her to be submissive to Sean’s character, but instead she just got into his face and did the tongue flicking instead. And talked over him. A lot. It was a little weird. Because we focused so much on the lie in the Grand Ballroom, we didn’t talk much about the tongue. Maybe Lina will explain her thinking behind the endless tongue flicking either in her own blog or here.

So, in the end, Lina went home. I think she was the first person to go who I thought had a possibility of winning. It wasn’t a perfect decision, nor as clear cut as it had been in previous weeks, but it was the best the judges were able to do. From here on it was only going to get harder.

Like with the other eliminated contestants, I waited until Lina was done with her exit interviews, then went to speak with her. She was definitely the angriest of any of the girls thus far. She sort of shirked when she saw me – Lina believed I didn’t like her. I think this started on the very first day of shooting, with me criticizing her epileptic routine. But I really thought Lina had talent. I didn’t quite bond with her in the way I did with some of the others, but I wasn’t using that as a requirement for staying on the show.

She told me again and again that as soon as she was cast in the schoolgirl/lesbian makeout role, she had tried to tell me she wasn’t comfortable doing it, but I wasn’t made available to her. Honestly, though, that wouldn’t have made much difference. I had already cast the other roles, which I would have shuffled differently had I known Lina didn’t want to do the role. Also, it wouldn’t erase that she had lied to me in the audition room.

After I was nice to her and hugged her she said she was afraid of me seeing the show, as she said a lot of nasty stuff about me in the confessional. So I must thank the editors that Lina beating the shit out of me isn’t what they chose to put in the cuts (besides, that’s what Lina’s blog is for.)

I think Lina has talent. Last week I watched her short scene in Adam Sandler’s DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN, and thought she was quite good. She’s also a risk taker, and she’s actually quite funny if you can get past the fact that she hates black people (… I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I don’t think she’s a racist… just a freak.)

As for her comments here, I sometimes wish she would take a little more responsibility for the stuff she does and says on the show – there isn’t quite as much disparity between reality and reality TV as Lina would have you think (sometimes I read what she writes and I half-believe someone CGI’d her fish-flopping around on the floor or made a Lina-puppet-head spouting racial humor). But I also think that pugnacious attitude is what makes Lina Lina, and what makes her appealing. So I hope she keeps writing her thoughts on the show, even though her time on it is done.

And, Lina, just to make things clear, despite your whining about my special treatment toward my favorites on the show – you were and are one of them.

NEXT WEEK ON SCREAM QUEENS



Nowhere near as fun as this week – in fact, it was my LEAST pleasurable week yet. Sure, pouring 15,000 live cockroaches on the girls in the Director’s Challenge was a blast, but I ended up having to make the most difficult choice of the entire series. Ugh. Still, I think my pain is going to be your folks’ pleasure. In fact, I think it’s the beginning of a streak of all the best SCREAM QUEENS episodes. So tune in next Monday night for the show, and come back here Tuesday morning for my Behind-the-Screams blog!

But before you go, here’s a special video interview of my brother Sean, after we watched last night’s episode together:

What Sean said,

James

BEHIND-THE-SCREAMS Blog: SCREAM QUEENS Episode Three (SPOILERS)!!

All photos by John Sampson. From L to R: Marissa, Jessica, Michelle, Lina, Sarah, Angela, Tanedra, Lindsay.

This week fucked me up!  The girls who I thought were at the front of the bus – Michelle, Sarah, and Tanedra – were poor to bland in the Director’s Challenge.  The girls who I thought kinda sucked – especially Jessica and Lina – kicked it up a notch.  I came out of the week wondering if I was going to be able to make any sort of informed decision at all about our SCREAM QUEEN, the future star of SAW VI.

Were the girls just going to be randomly better or worse from week to week?  Or were some real frontrunners going to emerge?

JESSICA

I’ll be honest.  I went into the week hoping we were going to boot Jessica.  At the first director’s challenge – the only REAL acting challenge we’d had thus far – three girls were far worse than the others – Jo-Anne, Kylah, and Jessica.  Jo-Anne and Kylah were gone.  So I thought week three was going to be an easy decision.

But something weird happened:  Jessica rocked in the Director’s Challenge.  In the first half, when she was crawling through the glass, crying, trying to figure out where she was, she was magnificent.  For the first time I realized she had a charismatic star quality.  I think it’s something a lot of you have picked up on at home, watching her in the confessionals – she’s very present and easy to relate to. 

But in the second half of the challenge, when she fought the bad guy, her robotic fighting style reminded me a lot of Mechagodzilla, only not in a bulky costume, and not surrounded by three foot high cardboard buildings (though I think I’m coming up with a good giant monster challenge for SCREAM QUEENS 2…)

That said, it wasn’t really the fighting I was concerned with.  ALL of the girls sucked at fighting.  (And I liked watching Shawnee’s high jump competition on TV, but I couldn’t care less whether a girl is able to jump from that high.  A star of a film would never be asked to do this kind of stunt, and would probably not be allowed to do it for insurance purposes.  Despite all the actresses I hear in interviews claiming to "do their own stunts," I’ve never actually seen a mainstream actress do a stunt on set .) 

What bugged me about Jessica’s fighting was her acting while doing it – her face went all whacked-out Devil’s-Rejecty.  I was beginning to see some real potential in her, but I wished I could take her crazy out behind the barn and put a bullet in its brain.  (I wish I could do this to MY crazy as well – so far, no such fucking luck).

That said, Jessica was the second best in the challenge.

LINA

Lina, however, was better, because she was consistently good through the whole scene.  AND she was incredibly sexy – I never thought I could get quarter-wood watching a girl crawl through glass, but here I was, sitting in my director’s chair, taking a beat before standing up and giving her her next note.  Also, both the makeup artists and the crew informed me Lina’s attitude had changed very much for the better.  Lina suddenly seemed like she could take the whole thing.  And that’s why, in the Grand Ballroom, we gave her Leading Lady.

MICHELLE

Michelle, whom I had loved in earlier challenges, was atrocious.  Her performance was so broad, I thought she had been possessed by Jerry Lewis from the NUTTY PROFESSOR.  And her incredible Hulk impression after knocking down the bad guy almost made me laugh out loud, just as it did her fellow contestants watching on the video monitor.  I was wondering if we should have Michelle wear a bikini in every scene she did from there on, because, otherwise, she might be cringe-worthy.

In the Grand Ballroom, Michelle started crying and said, "I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging… but I’ve had a really, really great life growing up!"  This was her excuse for not being able to access the sadder emotions!   This was definitely one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard.  It was so weird, in fact, I had to repeat the line endlessly to Shawnee and John and the rest of the crew for the rest of the shoot.  I never tired of it (though I’m certain they did.)  It was the first time I had heard a happy childhood being posited as a handicap.  And it was bullshit.  Life is hard.  It’s not easy for anyone.  As I said on the show, we all fucking die.  You want to get sad?  Think about that shit, or your dead cat, or the kid you knew in high school who killed himself.  No one escapes horror, whether it be small or large.  At a certain point, "looking on the bright side" simply becomes psychotic delusion, and Michelle was at least ankle deep in that particular affliction.  Maybe Jessica wasn’t "the crazy one" after all.

TANEDRA

She was good, but, once again, she didn’t stand out to me (maybe because I didn’t see her kickass backflip in the high jump!)  She was the least experienced of all the actresses, and she seemed a bit confused about how to relate to the camera.

LINDSAY

Decent, but blah, as evidenced by the shortness of this paragraph.

ANGELA

Rather weak.  Her choices made sense, and she looked awesome on film, but I didn’t buy her emotions.

SARAH

It wasn’t that Sarah was as bad as Michelle – she wasn’t.  But she seemed a thousand miles away from her emotions, and she simply didn’t improve at all from take to take, despite my notes.  As you see in the episode, I took her aside afterwards and told her she seemed to be off her game.  What you don’t see is that although Sarah initially made excuses, she immediately got off that and took responsibility for her poor performance.  I was extremely impressed by this.  I think ownership is a necessary component for growth.

MARISSA

Marissa was eager to please, but her performance was bland.  At least Michelle made a splash (albeit, a cat-against-the-grill-of-your-Buick type of splash).  But the anguish you see Marissa going through on the show was apparent to me on set.  It was an unpleasant energy to be around.   In the Grand Ballroom, after Marissa complained about our critiques feeling like beatings, Shawnee said to her, "The beatings are good for you – maybe they’ll help you to be less theatrical."  Well… I couldn’t totally agree with that.  Like I’ve said before, the Grand Ballroom eliminations are only a few minutes for you guys, but we would be there for a couple hours.  My hope was that our criticisms in the Grand Ballroom would empower the performances of the contestants, but I felt like our words weren’t helping Marissa at all any more.  And whether it was caused by what the judges said, by the other girls’ cattiness, or by the unrelenting eyes of the cameras, Marissa seemed to only get darker and more inside her head and more afraid to express herself week by week.  I started to feel like we were hurting her.  Although Michelle was the worst, she showed more potential earlier on, and she didn’t seem to be breaking down.  In the end, it was a relief (probably to Marissa and certainly to us) to let her go.

In her exit interview – which I only saw on TV – Marissa said she was happy the judges said she was a talented actress.  She said, "I know that, and I just needed to hear it from them, too."  This made me a little sad, as I think that need was largely Marissa’s weakness.  Despite all of her proclamations of being "true", it seemed like she was trying to be true just to impress the judges.  She lacked what I talked about in this blog last week, the paradoxical ingredient necessary for artistic success – absolute commitment while absolutely not giving a fuck.  Her need to impress destroyed her ability to impress.

Thankfully, however, there is life outside of SCREAM QUEENS.  The week before I hadn’t been able to talk to Kylah after the show, because I had a prior commitment.  But this week I waited for Marissa to finish her exit interviews so I could make sure she was okay. 

We sat side by side on the couch in the ludicrously over-colored living room.  She proclaimed she was fine and had she learned from the experience, but I wasn’t sure I believed her.  She certainly seemed to be breathing more easily than she had been two hours beforehand, but the circles under her eyes suggested she was somewhat ravaged  by the experience.  She still seemed to want to prove to me that she was okay and good, because she didn’t truly trust it was okay and good sometimes to not be okay and good.  Still, she had been one of my favorites on the show – she was a bright girl with a life in her eyes I don’t think her years on this planet have caught up to yet.  Her potential, whether it’s in acting or something else, has not yet been reached.   I looked at her and realized a reality show is a great place for a certain type of actress to flourish and to improve her craft –Marissa, however, is not of that type. 

That said, she left me feeling hopeful for her.  Things from here, I was pretty sure, would get better for her.

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

A few questions have been asked of me repeatedly about the making of the show.  Here’s one:

Are your judgments colored by what the contestants did outside of the challenges?

This question has come up a lot, mostly because people question whether I knew what a bitch (their word, not mine) Michelle was, and why that didn’t affect my judgment.

The truth is, I heard very little about Michelle being a "bitch," because, as you can see on the show, most of her bitchiness happened in the confessionals, and I wasn’t privy to what happened there.  What I would hear about them would be through the crew, or through the other girls.  And I did know that the girls sometimes had disdain for Michelle – but as I understood it, it wasn’t because she was a bitch, but because they didn’t respect her acting talent.

So I’d like to say no, I wasn’t colored by what they did outside of the challenges.  And I think primarily I made choices based on how well the girls did in the them and that included how well they worked with me and the crew, but not anything I heard about their interactions with the other girls. 

However, I did hear SOME things that happened when the girls weren’t around.  And in this episode, I probably heard more than in any other.
What wasn’t shown in this episode was that the girls staged a drunken rebellion, and wanted to be able to go out partying and dancing after their night out on the town.  Shawnee got pissed at them, and, frankly, so did I when I heard about it.  Shawnee knows, like I do, that entertainment professionals sometimes need to go off for long periods of time without their friends and family working on a film or a TV show.  I personally have had to leave my life and Von Spears for five or six months at a time to live in Vancouver or Australia.  It can be unbelievably emotionally difficult.  And for these guys to be going nuts over not even three weeks away from the real world made me think that NONE of them had what it takes to be a Scream Queen.

I also heard about how Sarah, perhaps too bluntly, told Michelle what she thought of her acting.  I put this down to Sarah’s lack of a filter between her brain and her mouth.

And I heard how Lina was always needling Tanedra, calling her "Sistah" and talking about Ebonics.   That bothered me.  But I also knew that Lina made a lot of Asian jokes (such as in this episode when she says, "You know, I’m Asian, we all know kung fu.  And we all know karate," which I found funny,) so I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt that she was just an equal opportunity offender.

I heard that Angela "had a massive breakdown" and "there’s a lot of darkness in that girl".

But all of the things I heard one thing stood out the most – it was that Sarah said Jessica  weighed fifty pounds more than she did and that Jessica said to Sarah, "Do you know how ugly you are?  Do you know how Jewish you look?"

Okay.  This freaked me out.  For the girls to call each other fat and ugly, as many of them have done, is awful.  But to start throwing bigotry into the mix is reprehensible. 

But still, I thought the best thing to do was put that knowledge aside and judge the competition on the merits of the performances and the girls’ behavior on set.  I tried my best not to take that knowledge into account while judging this competition.

I’m not excusing Jessica’s behavior.  I think she did something very wrong.  But I also think she’s a good person, and she made the mistake of doing that something wrong on national TV.  And because of that, I think she’s more than learned her lesson.

And, before you use this forum as an excuse to beat her up, think about some of the worst things you’ve done in your life, and imagine if they were broadcast into a couple million households.

Have questions about SCREAM QUEENS – ask ‘em below, and I’ll try to answer!

And watch next week’s episode of SCREAM QUEENS, which is by far my favorite and the funniest episode of the show yet.  AND it features a special appearance by my brother Sean!  And we had a blast, shooting it on my birthday! I really can’t wait for you guys to see it!

But, more importantly, get off your ass and GO FUCKING VOTE!!

Be good,

James

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You can still watch JAMES GUNN’S PG PORN: NAILING YOUR WIFE.

For extra SCREAM QUEENS info, go befriend me now at Famous VH1 Friends.

Know when I’m drinking a cup of coffee, taking a shit, or telling a doorman to fuck off in a Cookie Monster costume on TWITTER.

BEHIND-THE-SCREAMS BLOG, SCREAM QUEENS EPISODE TWO – SPOILERS!!!

THE GENERAL SCOOP


Again, all photo credits go to John Sampson. Top row, left to right: Jessica, Marissa, Lindsay, Sarah, Tanedra. Bottom row: Kylah, Lina, Angela, Michelle.

I’m going to be honest here. And I’m going to trust VH1 won’t be mad at me. They know I loved doing the show, and they know I think the show is great. But for all of you folks to believe me, I have to be honest about what I DIDN’T like as well…

And I was incredibly bummed when I found out I had to TAKE PHOTOS for my challenge in Episode Two. In fact, if I hadn’t been such a whiny little bitch on set the week before (due to my ComiCon exhaustion, and also due to being kind of a dick for real), I probably would have caused some shit about it. After all, I’m a director, not a photographer. This wasn’t a fucking modeling competition.

And, to be completely frank, I thought it was time for Kylah to go. Yes, I loved her crazy femme fatale pulp novel cover cartoonishly voluptuous look. But she was, to me, clearly, the least able actress on the show. I didn’t think there was a chance in hell she could end up being cast in SAW 6.

And now VH1 was telling me we were having a fucking modeling competition! I get it – it’s fun for the folks at home! It’s a great reality segment! But it also seemed tailor-made for the photogenic Kylah, which meant I’d have to end up kicking off one of the less photogenic girls with some real acting talent.

(All this said, Kylah could in fact be the next fucking Meryl Streep. I don’t know. I’m not God. I just base my opinions on the information available to me.)

Well, as you know by now – you’ve hopefully seen the episode – even this couldn’t help Kylah. Kylah seems to be a good model – I’ve seen her photos online – but when asked to muster the single emotion I was looking for in this challenge, she just couldn’t do it. As hard as it was to believe, she was even worse than when she talked.

So, in the end, VH1, I guess I was sorta wrong, and you were sorta right. In fact, this ended up being the easiest elimination in my entire eight weeks on the show. For one reason, Kylah was the ONLY ONE who wasn’t good, making the judges’ decision all that much easier. AND I think it was fun for you guys to watch.

That, however, does not mean I want to do a photo challenge in SCREAM QUEENS II.

That’s it for easy weeks, however. Kicking girls off became increasingly difficult for me after this.

Now, because I have one episode of SPARKY AND MIKAELA to shoot and three episodes of PG PORN to prepare, I don’t have much time for forming anymore paragraphs and segues and whatnot –

So here are RANDOM FUCKING FACTS about SCREAM QUEENS, EPISODE 2:

– I love that little midget saying my name. Supposedly, that chick played an Ewok!

– The girls were honestly freaked out on the midget. No feigning here. Tanedra took of her shoe and swatted at her! That’s correct: TANEDRA TRIED TO HIT A MIDGET WITH HER SHOE BECAUSE IT WAS DRESSED LIKE A DOLL. Why are people watching fucking SURVIVOR?

– I was very excited to see that one of my more favorite lines made it into this episode, addressed to Kylah: "It looks like you’re having a B.M." I was very afraid that the producers were going to take it out, as many people don’t know what a "B.M." is (it’s a "bowel movement’.) But the Gunn kids never used another word for shit or poop growing up. So I dedicate that line, and all my actual bowel movements for the day, to my mother.

– Me: "What do they have you doing this week, John?" Homa: "They have me pushing a fucking button and taking pictures!" One of my great joys on the show was Homa’s unceasing discomfort with every aspect of this job, and yet somehow still kicking ass at it.

– There might be something wrong with me, because I laughed hysterically when John Homa asked Tanedra what the worst thing she ever saw was and she answered, "Me, getting hit by a truck." I honestly laughed for a full five minutes. I was in the production office with one of the creators, Biagio Messina, when I saw it. He gawked at me with a confused smile, like I was a sociopath.

– A clarification: It’s not that I find it funny that Tanedra got hit by a truck. That’s only funny when it happens to someone I don’t know and love. But the wording of it, dear Jesus, it’s one of the most hilarious fucking things I’ve ever heard. Did anyone else laugh when they heard that but me?

– When I came to set the day after Homa’s challenge, Biagio did impressions for me of Kylah’s eighteen different facial expressions that all looked the same, and Jessica’s eighteen different facial expressions that all looked different, but also all looked like a crazy woman about to eat a baby. I fell down laughing.

– I was struck by how much more confident and at ease Lindsay looked when she came to set with her new look. Those of you who know me, know that I’m gay in almost every aspect of my personality except the liking-to-fuck-girls part, and won’t be surprised that I marveled at her fabulous hairstyle.

– I was also struck by how hot Marissa looked with her dark hair – but, despite that, she looked uncomfortable.

– As I said, every actress except Kylah did well in the Director’s Challenge. But I would also say every actress did GREAT, except Kylah and Marissa. Marissa seemed uptight, and it was difficult to be around.

– Guys, let’s just stop for a moment and bow our heads in honor of how fucking sexy Michelle looked in her bikini. Perhaps she was as bitchy to me as she comes off on the show, but I just don’t remember it because her bikini memory-erased me like that thingie the Men in Black have. I guess I’m not as gay as I think.

– It’s not true, as Lina stated, that Angela had the easiest photo. I gave her a lot of very specific directions of how to do a bad-photo-fake-smile while she posed in the wedding dress. It’s the smile a figure skater has at the end of routine after having fallen a few times, and Angela executed it perfectly. She was funny, and great.

– Lina DID have the crappiest costume in terms of how it felt. But Marissa had the crappiest costume in terms of how it looked.

– Lina’s performance was great, but her movie poster looks a little bit too much like Japanese porn (not HER fault, though). Then again, how can anything look TOO MUCH like Japanese porn?

– Lindsay was great too. I perhaps agree that the photo we used wasn’t the best of her. But she was amazing in the room, and took all my notes completely. The girls applauded for her when she was through.

– I also loved Sarah in the BLOOD SKATE poster. In fact, it’s my favorite poster of all of them. I liked it so much that one of the creators, Joke Fincioen, sent it to me so that I could have it on my cell phone.

– And I really liked working with Sarah too. After a couple challenges, she was pretty much my favorite to work with.

– I did absolutely no planning before these photo shoots. So as each girl came onto set, I would have to make up what the story of the movie was about in the moment. The plot lines became increasingly ridiculous. People on set seemed to like the story of Jessica’s the best, where she had fallen down the stairs into a big pile of her dead, dismembered family.

– Speaking of which, Jessica was fantastic too – way, way better than the week before.

– I truly did hear from the makeup department and the crew that Lina was a diva. That shit bugs the hell out of me. If she’s a pain in the ass now, what was she going to be like when she got a little fame from winning this competition? My warning in the Grand Ballroom was a real one: if I heard at all that she wasn’t working well with the crew, she would be gone. It didn’t matter how talented she was. I wasn’t going to saddle the producers of SAW 6 with that headache.

– Marissa’s story was different, but could be as potentially deleterious to SAW 6. I could tell she was emotionally and intellectually spiraling. This type of fear is toxic on a set. I had a hard time confronting her in the room, because I really liked Marissa as a person, and thought she had talent. But I saw her constantly second guessing herself, and that’s the last thing an actor needs. As commercial artists – whether we’re actors, writers, directors, or whatever – we need to 100% fully immerse ourselves in a job, and yet 100% fully not give a shit. That’s the paradox we face every day. I wasn’t sure Marissa was going to be able to do that.

Will she? Will Lina shape her ass up? Will Michelle continue to hypnotize me with a bikini and make it through to the end on abs alone? Will Sarah and Lindsay continue to kick ass in the acting challenges? Will Jessica take the natural step from making a baby-eating face to actually eating a baby? And why the hell didn’t Tanedra’s performance stand out enough this week to mention? And, most of all, which contestant will say which other contestant "looks Jewish" as a putdown?

Bye,
James Gunn

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You can still watch JAMES GUNN’S PG PORN: NAILING YOUR WIFE.

For extra SCREAM QUEENS info, go befriend me now at Famous VH1 Friends.

Know when I’m drinking a cup of coffee, taking a shit, or doing a reading with a pedophile on TWITTER.