RED HAT NATION, thus far (truly, just a sampling of the crazy fuckers out there who have donned my red hat in unified mockery of me...)
Befriend the RED HAT or get your own hat here: http://www.myspace.com/jgredhat
BTW, I don't know HOW to put on a red fuckin' hat other than putting a red hat on my head and taking a photo (something I probably never should have done in the first place)... but you can go to the James Gunn Appreciation Society and ask them, they might know -- http://groups.myspace.com/tjgas
Also, Maddy very, very, very foolishly said she would help folks with a red hat who needed one. Let's see how long that lasts. Her page is http://www.myspace.com/hockey_bauer
"Hey, everybody! Look! Somebody without a red hat! Let's kill him!"
Jenna/Pam
Renee is suddenly seeing the world in color.
Tim
I've been tagged
Don't try anything on Ileana, fucker. She's got an Uzi under there and she ain't afraid to use it!
You said Tricia wasn't cool enough to put on a red hat. In your face!
Dwight Bobblehead knows the score.
Tess' illegitimate kids turned legitimate once she put on the hat!
Guess what happened to Stu's DVD player after he put on the hat?
It plays Region 1 AND Region 2! No shit!
Sam Peckinpah/Mitch
Melanie (who is satisfied with a very small red hat)
Maddy's ear healed up all real good once she put on the red fucking hat.
Linda can tear a person in half once she put on the hat.
Lisa's snow dog sprouted spider legs and started walking around and shit!
We were like, WHAT THE FUCK?! But it was cool because it was
something we had never seen before. But then the snowdog started
selling crack on the street corner to all the kids who weren't wearing hats
which was, we thought, kinda questionable. But fuck 'em
if they can't put on a hat.
Kenner kicked his crack habit once he put on the hat.
Joseph knows you want him. But you bounce off his force field.
Listen to what happened to Gory. He fucking photoshopped this hat on his head and
when he was done it was on his head for real!
Gary is a little less insane now that he's got the hat!
Patrick Dempsey has been stalking Claudia ever since she put on the hat.
Now she's got a hit out on him. Murder's not cool, I guess.
But the pigs let it go if you're sporting a red lid.
Dan is dreaming of the top of his head.
Cthulhu now knows how to pronounce his own name.
Chris's cat is all like "Check my shit out." We thought he was like being egomaniacal.
But then he shit cotton candy. He was completely being literal, dude!
Chase's Mommy put her kid in this hat. Three weeks later he got a PhD.
The RED HAT is like a cheat code for life, baby!
Brent rocks the red hat.
Bethany knows you want it off her head. Go ahead, try to take it.
She just kicked you in the throat! Your thorax is burst, dude! You're dead!
The origin of Ablazin' Devil Head's little smirk.
Dermatologist: "Yeah, Rooker, I got a way to clear that right up.
Let me put this fucking thing on your head. There you go.
Will take about fifteen minutes."
Fillion is about to lose his virginity BIG TIME.
Doo
Zombie
Venom
FUCKING MORE RED HATS --
Yellow Dot Lisa
The Walking Betz knows this relationship ain't gonna last long
unless his woman gets with the program.
Sharon IS rock and roll.
Quickslither discovered his red hat added three inches of girth. Way to go, brother!
Witchoo is so awesome we have to pull out the eyeballs of men who look at her,
because they just aren't worthy.
Paula is rad.
Paddington, the fucking trailblazer.
Nick is BUILT.
Laura likes Poptarts
Just Nicholas
James Gunn's Red Hat
Horta
Giant Robot
Diamond Jon Wilson was 98 pounds before he put on the hat.
Corybelle's Daughter speaks nine languages.
Claire speaks ten languages. They're called "her knuckles,"
and she knows how to use them on anyone without a red hat.
Bri the Sheba's cat is all about the world domination and shit. The only humans
that are gonna be making it past 2008 are the ones what got red fucking hats.
The Men of Predator would still be alive.
Alien Orphan
The Mothership
Meyattman can eat this glass.
Kelly
Jacob AKA "swoon factory" will show you how it's done.
Tori's Husband
Denise is awes.
Brad's dog is all up in your grill. Look away, dude.
Look away. You hold eye contact with that guy for more than four seconds
and he'll eat your face.
Corybelle
Ambra's cat is doing the dishes. Because all cats
are more helpful and thoughtful when they put on the hat.
Lawanda is going places.
Travis knows how to kill eighteen ways with his thumb.
TK7689 needs no comment.
R has a garage with 87 sports cars. She inherited it when she put on the R.F.H.
Prince Randian is about to grow arms and legs.
The Penis Monster
Parasites
Noah
Nettie
Morriconei Graphics
Miss Deemented
Katherine Holmes Cruise
Joanne
Jacob Again
Abby
Dave
Clifford
RG
Jimmy
Raimundo
Pabst Blue Ribbon
MadCat
Lisa
Debbie
Ash
Vince is Awesome-O
Office Addict
Lloyd
Heather/Bruce
Zac
The X Men Game Guys can now come to life and pick up your
groceries and do other chores for you and shit.
Time to sew up some tiny red fucking hats and
put them on little toys so they can be your slaves!
V
Tonya
Tom
These Fuckers
Oh, Christ
No Fatties, No Shemales, No PROBLEM!
Sarah knows Dwight can phase through blinds when he's wearing his red hat.
If Ving did this shit, Andy'd still be alive today.
Radar wears a levitating red hat. Works just as good.
Rachel
Psychopathia Sexualis
Phantom Limb turned you into a Ronald MacDonald doll
and treats you like a little baby.
Peregrine has human legs. I'm surprised it wasn't
included in this photo, since it's one of the more unusual things about him.
Old 97's
Molly is Mending
Mike
Matthew can smoke anything, even, like, curtains, and get just the right buzz.
Leloo etc.
Kristi mentors this kid right below her.
Kickass Baby
K could give two shits what you think, 'cause she's in the hat.
Jen knows she's hot and you can't have her OR her red hat.
But if you get your own red hat anyone you see will look like her.
Dark side of the Force, my ass. Jedi Frances knows the
only side of the Force that matters is the RED SIDE.
InSHANE in the Membrane
Ian and George got drunk together and killed some guy who looked at them funny.
Happy Man Films could cut your head off with that thing.
Grant is now loved by Starla.
Graham's Dog
Faith has an enormous hat and can pull an infinite amount of beers out of it.
Ezma
Dr. Alessandro and Friends
Count Choculitis is at Neverland ranch, where they fucked up Michael Jackson's shit.
Claire doesn't love you.
Bob Barker
Alex never smiled before today.
Uhlll... Some more red fuckin' hats... you guys are lucky my back is out these past couple days and I'm unable to work, because I have time to deal with you weirdos and your red fuckin' hats... sorry if I miss anyone... we are an army of hundreds at this point and I don't think I can keep track...
Wendy is in.
Tragically Delicious knows how to sport one.
Tim's getting ready to go out non-red-hat-wearer-bashing.
It's like gay bashing, but for people who deserve it.
This guy's enlightened.
Kuekee's getting laid tonight. Men can't control themselves around a red hat.
Sean finally grew a set and put on a red fucking hat.
Be like Paul.
All is forgiven, dude. All is forgiven.
Nice looking hat. Shame about the face, Niki. But I still want to make love to you.
Coffee + Red Hat = Morri is my long lost twin.
That sun didn't appear until after Meg put on the hat. It's motherfucking metaphorical, bitch!
Shit. I have to remember how to spell Malfeasance for Malfeasance sake. Is that right?
Luna Chick's hat would be cooler if it were plastic -- but she's still got it, baby!
Land of the Dead storyboards like to wear a red hat. If you don't have one, lines and paper are better than you, and that's kinda sad.
Jules was hot even before the red hat, and now she's magnetized. Pets are flying through the air and attaching themselves to her and shit. It's fucking crazy!
Jaws just wants to be friends with that naked girl now that he's got a red hat. She's going to ride on his back and they're going to fight crime and shit. Fuck. Yeah!
Cat: "Hey, boss. I can talk now that I've got a red hat. Does that creep you out?"
Chef Bacon: "No, dude. That's fucking cool."
Cat: "Let's rape a bitch from the red hat society."
Chef Bacon: "Okay."
Grizzy says: "Come closer, dude. No, closer...
Yeah, that's... there go your eyes, bro! You shoulda worn a
fucking red hat! I'll eat you up, fucker!"
Eric hits his first homer. I wonder why.
D Glove.
Now Corybelle's kid can shoot beams out of her eyes.
Bobman is GOD.
Alan: "Do you know where we can pick up any red hat chicks around here?"
Daz: "I'll show you the town, bro. I've got it ALL. "
Nate: "Screw the chicks, Daz. When I see you in that red hat I don't want nobody else!"
Daz: "I'm not like that, bro.
The Sexual Criminal is REFORMED.
Lustmord has me running out of shit to say.
JamFan knows Jim woulda kept his ass in Scranton were this the case!
George Bailey was a Hooligan says: "My hat may be too
small for my head, but that doesn't mean I can't turn invisible,
go into a bank, and take all the money I want.
The rules of society don't apply to us fuckers wearing
a red hat. Got it?" (And you do.)
Carl Weathers: "We just got picked up for another season AND I was made a regular!!"
David Cross: "I haven't heard that."
Carl Weathers: "You're in a different world than me, baby! I'm in the world of the red fuckin hat!" (Then he tears off his head).
AND EVEN MORE!!
Before Graham got his red hat his shit was tucked in. Now the man don't give a fuck!
Von Spears is in the mix! Now that he's got a red hat his ass is gettin' PET, bitch!
Taylor exhibits the use of the funnel, in which the sweet red magic drains straight down into his head.
Spooky Girl Red is crying, but it's all fake.
Once you're in close, she'll take your heart and your money. I'll warn you and
you'll STILL fall for it.
Smoosh has a red hat and an ankh. Time to fight some motherfuckin' mummies!
Saint Vendetta will FUCK YOU UP.
Rayne's got a hat. The other dude doesn't. Guess which one God loves?
I can tell this shit's been photoshopped -- where's the hats?
Mister Groonk is the only one who sees those words above his head.
Mins just got done taking down a terrorist cell single-handedly.
Or at least she THINKS they were a terrorist cell.
They mighta just been her neighbors. Fuck it. Time for a Starbucks.
Meg's friend is checking out your disgusting hatless self.
She finds you pathetic. I'm not putting you down.
I'm just saying what SHE thinks.
Since putting on the red hat Matt can get Ronald to do any
fucking thing he wants. And hamburger clowns can do some sick hot shit.
The Cold War's back on, motherfuckers!
That's me - fourth row, third from right. I'm touching myself.
When you got the red hat on no one cares.
You just do what you want where you want it, you monkey.
Jesus Hung the Moon is up in your fucking face and
I just want to see you even think about trying something before
she cuts your ass in two.
Once I saw Janette beat a dude to a pulp and snort him.
I never wanted to blow Indiana Jones until just this minute.
Guess how many dudes Holly is marrying? EIGHT. And
it's totally sanctioned by the Mormon church AND the state of Utah, all
because of the red fuckin' hat. Marry as many people as you like.
Give Me My Remote donned the red hat and now she's a
recurring character. She works in the warehouse and rapes men, and
she has a new catchphrase which is, "Come and get some of this shit,
motherfucker, I am going to fuck you up." Kids everywhere are saying it.
I know this seems like a bad situation for the dude in the red hat.
But he can also do this BACKWARDS.
Copperhead put on the red hat two-and-one-half-seconds ago.
Fuck the revolution, suckers. This red hat is all I need.
As Carrie shows here, often times, when we sleep,
our read hats shrink to a tiny size and levitate above our heads.
Ashley and her hat are ONE.
Caroline is counting down to when she jacks you in the nuts.
This time the little fucker's gonna live a full life. He wants to be an optometrist.
Guess who he just cut up? Somebody he felt like it.
Jenna was hideously ugly just moments before she touched Stacy.
Guess what Kurt's drinking? Plutonium.
I remember that day Aaron and I mind-melded and stopped a
dirty bomb from going off, just for shits and giggles.
Mel: "You know what, Jews aren't so bad."
Once again, befriend the RED HAT or get your own hat here:
http://www.myspace.com/jgredhat
And, by the way, we are in no way associated with the Red Hat Lady's Society, whatever the Hell that is. In fact, to get one of our red hats you have to kill and rape one of them. Either that, or photoshop a red hat on your head.
