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50. A Good Man Is Easy to Kill – Beulah

49. Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken – Camera Obscura

48. Poison Oak – Bright Eyes

47. The Way It Is – Nicole Atkins

46. I Was Meant for the Stage – The Decemberists

45. Fluorescent Adolescent – The Arctic Monkeys

44. Bandages – Hot Hot Heat

43. Wish It Would Rain – Roger Joseph Manning, Jr.

42. The Sea Has Spoken – Misophone

41. You Stood Me Up – Benji Hughes

40. Reconsider Me – Moneybrother

39. Nothing Wrong – The Wannadies

38. Cool to Be Kind – Assembly Now

37. Melanie – The Nines

36. Now That I Can See – Couple

35. Lisztomania – Phoenix

34. The Way It Was – Aceyalone (f. Bionik)

33. Wicked Little Town – Hedwig and the Angry Inch

32. Turn It Around – Steve Ward

31. Keep the Home Fires Burning – The Bluetones

30. Boylife in America – Cody Chestnutt

29. The New Kid – The Old 97’s

28. I Want to Be Buried in Your Backyard – Nightmare of You

27. Tired of Being an Object – The Ark

26. The Mercy Seat – Johnny Cash

25. The Seed – Cody Chesnutt

24. Morning Show – Metro Jets

23. Beauty Is the Beast – The Ark

22. Dog Days Are Over – Florence + The Machine

21. The Killer Comeback Line – The Second Band

20. The Waitress – Atmosphere

19. When We Swam – Thao and the Get Down Stay Down

18. See These Bones – Nada Surf

17. Down Like Me – Ken Stringfellow

16. Can’t Stand Me Now – The Libertines

15. The World Should Revolve Around Me – Little Jackie

14. Alright – The Lost Patrol

13. Rollerskate Skinny – Old 97’s

12. It’s Been Hurting All the Way with You Joanna – Moneybrother

11. Dear Scene, I Wish I Were Deaf – Nightmare of You

10. No Song – The Second Band

9. Gemini (Birthday Song) – Why?

8. Calling All Destroyers – Tsar

7. Morning After Pill – Louis Logic & JJ Brown

6. Backstabber – The Dresden Dolls

5. I taught Myself How to Grow Old – Ryan Adams

4. Teenagers – My Chemical Romance

3. Say It’s Possible – Terra Naomi

2. Wild Is the Wind – The Second Band

1. Tears Dry on Their Own – Amy Winehouse

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He made this kid exist:

I guess you think that’s funny, Jesus, making this freaky little kid and all, but it’s kind of tripping me out and making me sick to my stomach a little bit. But I suppose that was your point in creating him? Your ways really ARE mysterious, huh?

(Thanks to Tess for turning me on to this: Video courtesy of the fine, funny, depraved folks at EverythingIsTerrible.com.)

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So a few weeks ago, Rainn Wilson posted a new “First Rule of Fight Club” on Twitter. I thought this was funny, so I retweeted it, and started obsessively writing additional rules. From there, other folks added their own rules, including Pete Alton, @Brandon007, @EdouardBond, and @tollishtwit. Although this has been reposted in other places, I thought I’d finally post the original sixteen rules here.

1st Rule of Fight Club? Don’t talk about ‘potpourri’.

2nd Rule of Fight Club: Don’t put a cigarette in your penis and pretend like it’s smoking.

3rd Rule of Fight Club: Always know where Fight Club is held, so you don’t need to stop and ask for directions to Fight Club.

4th Rule of Fight Club: The safe word is “Bernadette Peters.”

5th Rule of Fight Club: Don’t put peanuts in any of the pot luck items. Sal is deathly allergic.

6th Rule of Fight Club: Turn off your cell phone.

7th Rule of Fight Club: No one wearing any Ed Hardy apparel will be allowed to enter Fight Club.

8th Rule of Fight Club: You have to admit, it’s still fucking hilarious when Philip does jazz hands in the middle of a fight.

9th Rule of Fight Club: No, the Lord’s Prayer at the end of Fight Club is not necessary, but please be respectful of others who pray during this time.

10th Rule of Fight Club: Just wearing a Ramones T-shirt doesn’t make you hip.

11th Rule of Fight Club: Anyone sending me a Facebook invitation to play Farmville will be immediately ejected from Fight Club.

12th Rule of Fight Club: Don’t flush the paper towels. We’ve had a lot of plumbing problems from idiots doing this.

13th Rule of Fight Club: No air saxophone in Fight Club.

14th Rule of Fight Club: Don’t do a “retarded voice” in Fight Club. It may be funny to you, but Kenny’s brother has Down syndrome and he’s, understandably, sensitive.

15th Rule of Fight Club: This is supposed to be fun! Smile, you guys!

16th Rule of Fight Club: IN FIGHT CLUB, THERE ARE NO RULES (besides the preceding 15 rules. Especially that retarded thing: seriously not cool.)

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For those of you who missed my Twitter commentary on the Oscars yesterday, here it is:

Why is Alec Baldwin standing like a Neanderthal?

There was a 4th John Hughes kid, but Matthew Broderick killed him while drunk driving.

Fuck this Logorama bastard piece of shit for screwing up my Oscar pool.

Mrs. Garrett just won an Academy Award for documentary short.

God, this is boring. If I didn’t drive @Yarvo I think I’d be on my way home to jerk off to furry porn, or something else more interesting.

Precious is fat.

I think Up in the Air may be the best Pixar movie. I mean, it really looks realistic!

Mo’nique was good in Precious, but I liked her better in The Parkers.

‘An Education’ is my favorite movie in the Twilight saga.

Wait a second. I’m forgetting. Who are the nominees this year for Best Anal Scene?

I love that costume design chick. She absolutely did not give a shit that she just won an Oscar!

What better people to present the horror reel than the stars of Twilight? #fuckyousohardoscars

Why is this horror tribute sucking Tim Burton’s cock?

The best of horror!

(My favorite response, during the Horror Tribute:) RT @Ian_Pretorious @james_gunn I’m taking it you didn’t like the oscar salute to the horror section at Wal-Mart.

I can’t believe James Cameron had time to sound edit the Hurt Locker.

I think John Travolta just insinuated that the holocaust didn’t happen (Tarantino ‘rewrote history.’)

These people are all dead.

Every year they throw a live person into the dead people montage, to keep us awake. Karl Malden is alive & well, folks.

I want to do a montage of living people whose careers are dead.

I’m enjoying this salute to gay Hollywood dance sequence.

I like the part in The Cove when Ed Helms marries that stripper.

I love when Tyler Perry puts on that fat suit and plays Precious.

THE END

P.S. Although I was retweeted hundreds of times and I got a lot of new followers, I also got a lot of people sending me the Wikipedia page for Karl Malden to show me that he was really dead, and a few folks explaining to me that “Up” was the Pixar movie and “Up in the Air” was actually live action, which is why it looked so good. Um, okay. I also got a few people offended by my Tweets. Sorry. If you don’t like ‘em, click unfollow!

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Since, I don’t have anything else to post today, I thought I’d put up the greatest hits of one of my favorite musicians, Mark Gormley. First, is what I consider the greatest of all his tunes, “Gray Days.”

However, it’s the next two numbers, “Little Wings” and “Without You” that are by far his most popular:

Here’s an interview with the man himself:

One of the comments below this video: “When I play D and D I play as Mark Gormley.”

I really like what Tommy Robinetti adds to the proceedings.

Here’s a pretty good report from Attack of the Show, which gives us all a lot more information:

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Nick Holmes sent me this, because it’s a woman being freaked out by my movie, Dawn of the Dead.

I then see it’s the YouTube site of a guy who has posted many videos of his wife crying at the end of or during films.  Like, really crying.

Marley and Me

Her husband: “But would you rather the dog died in pain with a twisted stomach?”

Crying wife (sobbing): “No, but I could never be a vet… They should just make a super dog that never dies!”

The end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy

The best part is where she claims she’s not going to cry while the kingdom kneels in respect to the fucking hobbits, and then starts sobbing like crazy.

Return of the Jedi

Crying wife (sobbing): “Did they put R2D2 back together?!!”

But my favorite moment is where she’s breaking down crying, and the husband looks at the camera, starts laughing and says, “It’s Star Wars!”

Back to the Future

Back to the Future II (Seriously)

Husband: “Which one’s your favorite of the three?”

Crying Wife: “This one!” (followed by uncontrollable tears.)

You can check out more at their website, Cryingwife.com.

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