Oct 21, 2009
Zombieland/Perverse Sculptures
Firstly, I finally got around to seeing Zombieland last night, and I fucking loved it. I laughed my ass off. Not only that, while watching the credits I was surprised to see that my old friend Rhett Reese was one of the writers. I haven't talked to Rhett for a while and, honestly, had no idea he wrote the movie. Rhett was the creator of far and away the greatest reality show ever, The Joe Schmo Show – so now he's responsible for two masterpieces in two separate media. I checked the movie out with Mia Matsumiya, Steve Agee, Julia Vickerman, Sarah Silverman, and a couple of new friends, some of whom were friendly with the director Ruben Fleischer. And they all thought he was a great guy as well. It makes loving a movie all the more enjoyable when you know and like the people involved. But even if Zombieland was created by total dicks, I still would have loved it. If I'm not the last person in the world to see it, then whoever is (that means you, shut-in), should go see it now.
But just popping in today to write about a movie would be kind of gay. No, instead, while I was at the Grove last night to see the film, I found these creepy statues I want to fucking smash and kill, and took photos of them. Check them out:
What's wrong with you, Sculptor? Why do you need to creep me out with your fucked-up shit? And why do I get the funny feeling that you FUCKED these statures before you put them up in the Grove? Or that perhaps you fucked and killed some children and encased them inside these statues? It's your dirty little secret that only you enjoy every time you go to buy some new Banana Republic or Tommy Bahamas at the Grove. Isn't it, Sculptor? You dirty son-of-a-bitch, pedophile rapist.
But, again, Zombieland was a masterpiece.
And, speaking of masterpieces, here's Humanzee!, once again. You don't HAVE to masturbate to it, but, if you get the urge, I'm not judging:
I love you,
James
P.S. I guess I have to say, for legal reasons, I have no reason to believe that the sculptor of the above pieces is a child rapist, other than that his sculptures indicate that he probably is.
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October 30th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Did you take these pictures in the Neverland gardens? Child rape POV is creepy.
October 22nd, 2009 at 8:43 am
That last sculpture looks like stephen blackehart. Does anyone else see the resemblance? He was mouth raped by the sculptor for sure….the sculpture not blackehart, unless of course he actually way and that was the inspiration for the piece….
Love Zombieland too… Woody Harrelson was hilarious but my favorite bit involved Bill Murray. Love that guy.
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:19 am
guess i’m the shut in you were talking to as i haven’t seen zombieland yet, but i do mean to… as for the creepy statues, reminded me of christopher moore’s bloodsucking fiends & you suck: a love story… great books that are probably right up your alley, where a couple of people get encased in bronze… makes the statues way creepier thinking that the kinds are probably in there & can hear everything but no one knows about them… & humanzee was hilarious!
October 21st, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I was a few days without internet, so I did’nt read your latest comments. Now I finnish read the other post, where you talk about what miller said and.. I’m agree with all the things you said, and fuck them all!
now I had new computer and other server so maybe I would be more in contact with your web.
See you one of these days, I hope!
atte: Solci!
October 21st, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Unlike Mr. Gunn, I have nothing that the American judicial system would want, so all legality aside; I will say that, without a doubt, the sculptor is a serial-killer-pedo-artist.
Furthermore, for good measure, I’m going to throw the rumor out there that the sculptor also rapes and kills retarded puppies. And sure, I’m a credible source. Evidence? Don’t need any.
Come and get me, pedo-sculptor’s lawyers! I ain’t a-scared!
October 21st, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I totally want to see Zombieland!
The first sculpture, in particular, looks evil to me. I think it’s the teeth. *shudder, shudder*
October 21st, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Now there’s a movie idea, the sculptures of dead children come to like to kill the pedo sculptor.
Yeah, Zombieland was great, especially the cameo and post credit bit/outtake. A fun fucking movie.
October 21st, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I agree about Zombieland. It’s great. Really fun, clever, surprising and fresh. And those statues are hideous. I see things that that sold in gardening shops and I wonder who the fuck wants those in their yard. “Let’s see, lawn gnomes are nice, but they don’t have that certain intangible something. Ah! Creepy children encased in carbonite! Perfect! Let’s get five!” Real children are bad enough, but petrified ones with perma-grins are even worse.
October 21st, 2009 at 11:39 am
Glad to hear you liked it so much, it validates me for thinking it was just about the greatest movie I’ve seen at least this year, if not longer. Saw that and Parnormal Activity in a span of a few days. Two of the best “horror” movies I have seen in a long time for very different reasons. Would love to hear your thoughts on P.A. if you have seen it.
October 21st, 2009 at 10:57 am
I couldn’t agree more on Zombieland. And I think there is nothing better than good theater/film people supporting other good theater/film people. Well: yes there is … it’s GREAT such folks supporting other GREAT such folks.
And, a side note: seeing that movie with THAT CREW? That’s like an awesomeness sunday with excellence sprinkles, covered in superbitude sauce. Lucky bastards all.