Jul 2, 2009
Evolution Fucked Your Shit Up: The World’s 50 Freakiest Animals
Seapig
Ajolote
Aye-Aye
Chinese Giant Salamander
Pygmy Jerboa
Giant Isopod
Thorny Devil Lizard
It shall also be noted that these sons-of-bitches shoot blood out of their eyes as a defense mechanism.
Hagfish
Hairy Frog
Human-Faced Carp
Seadevil
Proboscis Monkey
Goblin Shark
Purple Frog
Pygmy Marmoset
Sea Dragon
Tarsier
It’s been pointed out to me that Sonya, in the video above, is not actually a tarsier but a slow loris. Still, I’m keeping the video up ’cause she’s cute as hell.
Axolotl
"I am a sign that the devil is real and Jesus never happened. Hooray!"
Angler Fish
Angora Rabbit
Blobfish
He does indeed look like Ziggy.
Candiiru
Okay, so the Candiru may not be the freakiest-LOOKING animal, but it is the only one that will swim up your penis and LODGE ITSELF IN THERE. Seriously, seriously, seriously: Fuck you, Candiru. Fuck you so, so hard, you piece-of-shit animal.
Wrinkle-Faced Bat
Giant Soft-Shelled Turtle
Dugong
Dumbo Octopus
Monkfish
Elephant Shrew
Geoduck
Giant Coconut Crab
Glass Frog
Hooded Seal
Liger
Note the size of this motherfucker; ligers are bigger than both tigers and lions.
These dudes escaped from the Phantom Zone and the first thing they want are our ligers!!
Long-Beaked Echidna
To himself, everything is perfectly normal.
Long-Eared Jerboa
Naked Mole Rat
Narwhal
Olm
Malay Eagle Owl
Pangolin
Pink Fairy Armadillo
Platypus
Rosy Lipped Batfish
Yeti Crab
Tubifex Worms
Saiga Antelope
"If you let me impregnate your wife I will bless you with riches unimagined!"
Star-Nosed Mole
Sucker-Foot Bat
"Hey, guys, what’s up? How’s it goin’? Deal my shit in."
Turtle Frog
Weta
Thanks to everyone who sent me these weird fucking dudes on Twitter.
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© 2009, James Gunn. All rights reserved.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:20 am
is it stange that I find some of those things extreamly cute? but yeah. most of the others freaked me the hell out. I used to think that the platypus as a kid, until I found out that they have a stinger under their tail that secretes something similar to what a komoto dragon has in it’s mouth. extreamly deadly. so yeah, don’t try and pet one. lol.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:29 am
Some of them are very cute – the pygmy marmoset, the tarsier, the jerboas, even the turtle frog in its own weird way.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
Even though he doesn’t exist, I am going to thank God everyday for making me a human. Although, I wouldn’t mind being a Pygmy Marmoset — or owning one. That is seriously cute.
I love how the fish that looks like a blob is just called Blobfish. Poor, disgusting little guy … or girl.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 am
My favourite is the Thorny Devil Lizard. This looks awesome!
But the Goblin Shark gave me a bad childhood flashback. This fucker looks like the thing that tried to kill Drew Barrymore in “Cat’s Eye”!
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:25 am
Cool post! Some cool animals that I’ve never seen before. Not to be nit-picky but the video you’ve posted below the Tarsier is actually a Slow Loris. Look at their hands, the tarsier has 4 fingers while the Slow loris in the video has only 3.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 am
Wow! That’s a quite a bunch of freaky animals or what have you! Great blog!! Too many to comment on, but I think some are cute too, esp. Sonya – and the Axolotl? I’ve seen those before (online) but they were called something else… Something along the lines of a Mexican-something or other-fish. There were a lot of really creepy and scary ones in the mix, but the Angler Fish stood out to me as really scary. Anyway, fascinating stuff!! Thanks for putting together this fantastic blog to share :)
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:34 am
COLIN – Thanks!!
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Wasn’t it found that the sewer creature was clumps of Tubifex worms, not Bryozoan?
Here I found a link – (yes, Tubifex!)
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/07/sewer_blobs_of_north_carolina.php
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:22 am
Also – awesome list. The carp makes me want to crap my pants and I DESPERATELY want an eagle owl now.
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:35 am
Don’t bullshit me, Gunn. That’s not an owl, it’s a Mogwai with a beak.
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:05 am
that eagle owl thing is fucking ridiculous. It looks like an animatronic magwai.
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Fuck.
July 2nd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
[...] are all allegedly real… More at Evolution Fucked Up Your Shit Comments [...]
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Intelligent Design? Not so much.
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
The blobfish reminds me of the illustrations by Shel Silverstein…I wonder if he received his inspiration from that…animal.
July 2nd, 2009 at 6:11 pm
The narwhal is the unicorn of the sea!
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:46 am
Strangely, this is the biggest blog (most hits) ever on either JamesGunn.com or on MySpace.
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 am
I saw Ligers at King Richards fair. They are huge and fucking scary awesome. They were not on a leash or chain or anything. The handler were cool as hell, during the show they said it would have no problem eating the children that were there, and do not take pictures or make any big movements or mess with it in any way.
They are giant monsters, but are somewhat helpless and are only in captivity, as they cannot survive in the wild.
On a side note, why didn’t Rooker make this list?
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Proboscis monkey kind of looks like actor Jimmy Durante.
http://bit.ly/lVy7N
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
What? Nobody picked the Pink Galapagos Iguana?
Also, Hagfish are cool if you are into mucus.
July 4th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Ha, the Proboscis Monkey has a penis for a nose.
Also, the Pygmy Jerboa creeps me the fuck out.
July 4th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
[...] stands for viral tubifex worm colony vid. It’s pretty disgusting, but then turtle frogs are absolutely [...]
July 5th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
[...] Hilo oficial movidas MendaLerenda (antes pastores extremos XD) los putos 50 animales mas frikis Evolution Fucked Your Shit Up: The World’s 50 Freakiest Animals | James Gunn – Official Websit… __________________ Ley de Murphy, cap?tulo del Apocalipsis, versiculo 13: -Si conservas la calma [...]
July 5th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
50 animales especiales…
Recopilación de animales realmente curiosos….
July 5th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Great list James!
Incidentally, some of these appeared on a fun show that was on last year, Nick Baker’s weird creatures. Very likeable host as well I thought, made for good entertainment and education.
http://www.animalplanet.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?sid=3619
July 6th, 2009 at 1:20 am
[...] espérate a ver esta galería de los 50 bichos más [...]
July 6th, 2009 at 2:22 am
[...] a link to some of the craziest animals you’ve probably never seen! Spread the [...]
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July 6th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I HAVE always loved the Giant Crab but I’m voting for the Aye Aye. He’s just so damn photogenic.
July 6th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I vote for Axolotl.
July 6th, 2009 at 8:23 am
I think I’m torn between the Olm and the Axolotl.
And a I look nothing like a blob fish :P
July 6th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Mascot for Gunn? I like the Tarsier, of course.. those eyes!!! ~~Which would be a good segue into looking at your site!
But the little guy tagged Axolotl just makes me smile in amazement everytime I look at it!!
Makes me think about all of the other things on this planet I haven’t seen yet!!!
July 6th, 2009 at 9:19 am
I am voting for the Geoduck that seems appropriate around here. You really need to have a check box for this to be accurate.
July 6th, 2009 at 9:58 am
The sea devil or the coconut crab thing…that should represent you, yo.
July 6th, 2009 at 10:45 am
I’m tossing my vote to the pink fairy armadillo. Gotta show some love to the gayest named animal on the site.
July 6th, 2009 at 11:37 am
I’m obligated to vote for the Aye-Aye…because that thing looks like it just crawled out of Satan’s vagina. Yowza.
July 6th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Why does the Hagfish remind me of an angry vagina? Really angry. I fell in love with Sonya and the Pygmy Jerboa. Did anyone notice in the Sonya video that the chic has a can of beer between her knees. I am such a tattle tale.
Awesome post!
I think Sonya should be your animal of choice. Just as cute as you :)
July 8th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
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July 8th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
50 kreisit looma…
…
July 11th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
The human-faced fish are pretty cool! I found some in a koi pond on the Microsoft campus – the face is more of a death’s head than a face. Interestingly, the ‘face’ on the koi different than the face of the koi – its mouth and eyes are not part of the ‘face’ that you see.
Just sayin’
July 11th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
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July 12th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
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July 16th, 2009 at 4:51 am
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July 18th, 2009 at 11:54 am
[...] Evolution Isn’t Always a Good Thing: This is a gallery of 50 animals that convinced me that ignorance is truly bliss. I mean, if I were a creationist, I wouldn’t have to believe that evolution existed, and thus these animals would be merely a figment of my own imagination. It’d help me sleep a lot better, thinking that I don’t share a planet with Giant Isopods. [...]
July 30th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Quando l’evoluzione animale fa brutti scherzi!…
Certe volte l’evoluzione degli esseri viventi imbocca delle strade che appartengono più al regno dei Pokemon o dei Gormiti che a quello animale.Ecco 50 delle più strane creature al mondo che stupiscono studiosi e scienziati e non solo per la lor…
July 31st, 2009 at 10:49 pm
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February 23rd, 2010 at 9:56 am
The glass frog is my new favorite animal. Man, I was I was made of glass.
February 28th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
[...] Evolution Fucked Your Shit Up: The World’s 50 Freakiest Animals [...]