Apr 25, 2009
My Painful XBox Experience
I came across this by chance yesterday, a bit from the G4 channel on my XBox show, SPARKY & MIKAELA, which stars Mikaela Hoover, Gregg Henry, Joe Fria, and Sean Gunn. It was part of the HORROR DOES COMEDY series on XBox, where myself and other horror directors like James Wan, David Slade, Adam Green, and Lucky McKee direct horror shorts. Check it out:
I wasn’t too happy with the version of S&M that was shown on XBox, as they cut the living shit out of it. Shortly after I signed on to produce the HORROR GOES COMEDY series, as well as write and direct my own, XBox became pain in the asses about content. They started by promising us directors complete creative freedom — that’s the whole reason we agreed to do it for, essentially, no money. We were told that anything goes. So I shot the most balls-out, fucked up thing I’ve ever shot: HUMANZEE!
XBox saw it and freaked out. There wasn’t even a way to cut it down to make it acceptable. So they offered me the chance to do something else, and to take the rights to Humanzee myself, which I gladly did. That’s when I came up with the idea for SPARKY & MIKAELA. As long as it was PG-13, with no sex, they said it would be all right. So that’s what I shot. But they saw it and, again, freaked out. Obviously they had no fucking idea what PG-13 was, as they wanted me to cut the words "penis" and "vagina." They made me cut a piece of very fake poop and a bunch of other stuff. And then, when they were done making me cut things, they took the final cut and cut it up themselves even more before airing it.
To sum things up, Warner Bros was a bastion of creative freedom on SCOOBY DOO 2 in comparison. I’m not exaggerating or being facetious. Microsoft/XBox was by far the most dreadful, non-talent friendly company I’ve ever worked for. And if you think I had it bad, some of the other directors (most specifically, SAW director James Wan, who just happens to be one of my favorite people in the world) had it even worse.
I still love XBox gaming, but I think their original content plans are DOA, precisely because of situations like the experience I and some of the other directors had on the Horror Goes Comedy series. People on XBox are playing Grand Theft Auto 4, getting blowjobs from hookers and shooting them in the heads afterwards! The top downloaded content on XBox is South Park! But Microsoft wouldn’t let us get close to the extremity of that material, so I don’t know how in the world they planned to create their own successful original content. People didn’t want to see our shows, which were barely a half-step removed from something you’d see on the Disney Channel. It’s a shame. I really think XBox could have been their own Network, as well as a gaming console, DVR, and way to buy movies. I saw them as the future. But because of the small-mindedness of the Microsoft executives, who preemptively censored a lot of our scenes for fear of freaking out stockholders, they crushed the potential for something that would have kept them relevant for a long time to come. It seems, instead, the visionaries have landed at other companies.
I also realize this means I was lying in the above G4 interview. And I was, a little. But, a couple of things — this interview was shot before they started cutting up Sparky, and I truly did have a lot of freedom when I was on set. I shot exactly what I wanted to, and had a lot of freedom.
In fact, I really like the original, uncut version of Sparky & Mikaela, which was done the way I intended. And you’ll be able to see it soon on the internet, and in other media, along with James Wan’s DOGGIE TALES, and all the uncensored, uncut shorts.
And, until then, you can watch JAMES GUNN’S PG PORN: HIGH POON, with Alan Tudyk, Belladonna, Ted Stryker, and Roxy Deville, this Tuesday, April 28 on Spike.com/pgporn. I’m happy to share that Spike.com didn’t cut a fucking thing. I’ve had my ups and downs with Spike, but the difference between Spike and XBox is that there are more "ups" than "downs" and, in fact, that there are any "ups" at all!
James
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April 25th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
James — True, our sensibilities on sexual innuendo may differ, although I think the fact that I’m a fan of your work and love PG Porn, Sparky & Mikaela and look forward to the day I can finally see Humanzee all show our sensibilities aren’t too far apart.
This topic is freaking me out a bit because my producing partners and I finally got a contact at XBox Live and are waiting to hear if they want to talk to us about our comedy web series, “The Crusader” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRRlct7BaPA). The first two episodes we put up are TV clean but I plan on making part of the story center around a pretty raunchy joke starting in episode 3.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Well, fuck ‘em then. When are WE gonna get to see S+M? If at all?
April 25th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Well, it isn’t set up financially like a normal job, Phil. We already had our money and deal. There would be nothing to gain from that. If they wanted that, they wouldn’t give us any notes, just take what they had and never air it. But it was just continual notes, all the fucking time. And XBox was on the line — it had to be done, because of their deal with the Air Force, who was the sponsor.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I get ya. Well, I’m glad you’re stickin’ to your guns.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
James – I should also mention when folks start getting nitpicky then they’re typically looking for excuses to make it so uncomfortable that you’ll say, “fuck it” and leave. That way you quit and they didn’t fire you. If there are other Xbox series not getting shafted for similar content, but my series would be singled out, I would start to think that. I’m not saying that’s how it is/was, but I’m a cynical fucker like that.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Phil – No, they were just afraid their stockholders were going to freak out. A lot of people — MOST people — run their careers based on fear. This is how you get to a good middle management position but no further.
Kelly – It might be a difference in what you consider sexual innuendo and what I do. In terms of violence, they weren’t too crazy. Being typical Americans, they freaked out on anything that reeked even the slightest of sexuality.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
James — The Guild is free on XBox Live. It’s first season was a straight web series on YouTube / watchtheguild.com but its second season was just on XBox Live and sponsored by Sprint. They’re working on their third season, also for XBox, sometime later this year. The Guild contains lots of sexual innuendo and would qualify as PG-13 certainly and sometimes R. It’s also pretty damn funny.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“But ‘excuses to get rid of it’? I don’t know where you’d get that from.”
I guess if someone’s gonna complain about “penises” and “vaginas” then it sounds like they’re being nitpicky. But fuck if I know. It’s just what it sounds like.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Huston – It’s already been suggested I take this down – it might come down tomorrow. We’ll see.
Phil – The powers that be definitely weren’t looking for excuses to get rid of it, they just didn’t give a shit about it. When you’re talking about Microsoft as a whole, they didn’t care about XBox Live original content one way or the other – they money they currently make there is nothing compared to the overall Microsoft corporation. The XBox Live staff were a different story – they cared, but just didn’t know what the hell they were doing and were, in the end, suckasses and not visionaries (and the one person I know who had some vision there left the company part way through this process). But “excuses to get rid of it”? I don’t know where you’d get that from.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Man! This totally sucks. It’s fucked up when other folks have to decided what’s appropriate or offensive. But honestly, what it sounds like is that the powers that be didn’t like the series and were looking for excuses to get rid of it.
But on the other hand, fuck ‘em all. Start your own network here on James Gunn.com. Let all the videos be exclusive to this site and you can charge advertisers if you want. Or doesn’t it work like that? Dude, you could be an Internet pioneer much like Lloyd Kaufman, Roger Corman or Russ Meyer were for movies.