Apr 21, 2009
PG PORN: HIGH POON Challenges Susan Boyle to a SHOWDOWN!
This is the exclusive FIRST-EVER photo from PG PORN: HIGH POON!
Recently, that Susan Boyle video from BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT surpassed the all-time, one-week video hits record with over 66 million hits!! (The previous record was in the 30 million range for Tina Fey as Sarah Palin). This is an amazing testament to the power of UNATTRACTIVE WOMEN WITH SOMEWHAT ABOVE AVERAGE VOICES!
That said, Susan Boyle, we here at PG PORN challenge you to a showdown! That’s right, bitch! ONE WEEK FROM TODAY, on Tuesday, April 28, the new episode of PG PORN, HIGH POON, airs exclusively on Spike.com/pgporn. The episode stars Serenity’s Alan Tudyk, Cock Happy 2’s Belladonna, Loveline’s Ted Stryker, the internet’s own me, and featuring a special appearance by Bitchcraft 4’s Roxy DeVille.
PG PORN: HIGH POON is going to beat your record, you Scottish whore! We are going to get at least 67 million hits in ONE WEEK.
People are telling me this goal is unrealistic. PG PORN is Spike.com’s biggest hit ever, but, even still, our most popular episode only has 2.2 million hits – and that’s after a few months. Well I have something to say to all of you – FUCK YOU, DESTROYERS OF DREAMS! I believe in the power of positive thinking, and that is why PG PORN is going to metaphorically BASH SUSAN BOYLE’S FACE IN WITH A SHOVEL ‘TIL IT’S A MUSHY PULP!
With your help, we can spread our Western-themed Non-sexual Porn all over the Globe! We’ll see you there in ONE WEEK!
So long, pardner!
James
Just a couple days for you to GO REGISTER NOW to be a part of JamesGunn.com, so you’ll be eligible to win a FREE SLiTHER SCRIPT signed by Nathan Fillion, Elizabeth Banks, Michael Rooker, Jenna Fischer, Gregg Henry, Tania Saulnier, and myself. We will pick from ALL registered members at random in just a few days. If you’re already registered, you are already eligible.
Befriend me on Facebook or Twitter.
© 2009, James Gunn. All rights reserved.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
So bring on HIGH POON already!
Meanwhile, I think I’ll go watch that Susan Boyle video again! Or maybe THE CRUSADER!
April 21st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Caryl – I think both you and I know that when you’ve heard someone like Terra Naomi sing a lot, the Susan Boyle thing is kind of ridiculous.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
“…SOMEWHAT ABOVE AVERAGE VOICE(S)!” Thank you!!! (Not a hater of Susan Boyle at all, but come on, she’s not the world’s greatest singer… the hype is over-the-top, in my opinion.)
Looking forward to this PG Porn episode… looks like it’s going to be a good one! Hope it breaks records!!
April 21st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I will be sure to spread this around just like I did with my herpes, so you know at least 10 people will see it. Also read your promise over there on Twitter & I hope you keep up your promise about reading those names.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:19 am
Gogoga – That’s the great thing about PG PORN. There’s nothing dirty about it whatsoever. I’d love to see my family members in PG PORN episodes. I have seen Sean Gunn, of course, and Brian Gunn has a small role in HIGH POON.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:07 am
Or me! lol
My honor is being defended…sweet!
April 21st, 2009 at 10:57 am
Braxto luckily you are only a year behind…:)
Your being stupid here James. Perhaps your too blinded by rage to see the possibilties. Steven Blackehart & Susan Boyle in PG Porn’s biggest internet hit yet. Imagine what her first on screen kiss could do for the net and for you.
Instead of battling this Scottish Troll you should reach out to her.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:40 am
Shit now my heads going to be fucked up all day with the thought of Susan Boyle going down!
April 21st, 2009 at 10:38 am
@gogogadget cousin is barely even blood relation. you’re good.
james i think you should somehow get oprah to promote this on twitter.
“adult entertainment that is safe for children.”
April 21st, 2009 at 10:33 am
I have a solution gogogadgetrobyn,just pretend your from Kentucky and the cousin thing won’t bother you.I agree Susan Boyle is going down!(but not on me)