Apr 21, 2009
PG PORN: HIGH POON Challenges Susan Boyle to a SHOWDOWN!
This is the exclusive FIRST-EVER photo from PG PORN: HIGH POON!
Recently, that Susan Boyle video from BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT surpassed the all-time, one-week video hits record with over 66 million hits!! (The previous record was in the 30 million range for Tina Fey as Sarah Palin). This is an amazing testament to the power of UNATTRACTIVE WOMEN WITH SOMEWHAT ABOVE AVERAGE VOICES!
That said, Susan Boyle, we here at PG PORN challenge you to a showdown! That’s right, bitch! ONE WEEK FROM TODAY, on Tuesday, April 28, the new episode of PG PORN, HIGH POON, airs exclusively on Spike.com/pgporn. The episode stars Serenity’s Alan Tudyk, Cock Happy 2’s Belladonna, Loveline’s Ted Stryker, the internet’s own me, and featuring a special appearance by Bitchcraft 4’s Roxy DeVille.
PG PORN: HIGH POON is going to beat your record, you Scottish whore! We are going to get at least 67 million hits in ONE WEEK.
People are telling me this goal is unrealistic. PG PORN is Spike.com’s biggest hit ever, but, even still, our most popular episode only has 2.2 million hits – and that’s after a few months. Well I have something to say to all of you – FUCK YOU, DESTROYERS OF DREAMS! I believe in the power of positive thinking, and that is why PG PORN is going to metaphorically BASH SUSAN BOYLE’S FACE IN WITH A SHOVEL ‘TIL IT’S A MUSHY PULP!
With your help, we can spread our Western-themed Non-sexual Porn all over the Globe! We’ll see you there in ONE WEEK!
So long, pardner!
James
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April 21st, 2009 at 10:11 am
I feel so conflicted. On one hand, I’m really excited about this, but on the other, I’m Alan’s cousin and this feels really dirty to want to watch. Anyone have a solution here?
April 21st, 2009 at 9:57 am
fuck james. my bad. i really gotta make sure to read updated bios on you.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:33 am
Yay for Alan!
April 21st, 2009 at 9:21 am
My Spouse says “whore” is a term of endearment, like “fucktard.”
Yay Alan Tudyk! He’s a leaf on the wind, um…watch him with whores?
Sorry.
April 21st, 2009 at 9:18 am
Braxto – I do not have a wife.
GermanGuy – I am sorry you were offended, but she has it coming.
Sooo – In part, PG PORN: HIGH POON is defending your honor (don’t ask me how, exactly, but that’s exactly what’s occurring).
April 21st, 2009 at 9:11 am
James can you please do a PG porn with your wife?
And by PG, I mean D.A.P.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:41 am
correction, I ment to put 50 up there not 40. *runs back to the dark corner*
April 21st, 2009 at 8:36 am
I used to have a little crush on Alan Tudyk, so I’m always happy to see anything he’s in. :D umm…I’ll try really hard to help.
I have to laugh sometimes about Susan boyle, becuase she kind of reminds me of myself, and it makes me sad a little to think that I could end up like that, then that makes me laugh. yeah backwards girl logic I know. she says she is nearly 40 unemployed but looking (me but I’m 24) lives alone with her cat(me but dog instead)she’s never been married and never been kissed….yup. ===>(Me)<=== *runs away and hides in the darkest corner*
TAKE HER DOWN JAMES!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
April 21st, 2009 at 3:33 am
Bitch doesn’t stand a chance against the might of Bella and Tudyk.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:03 am
While I’m totally on your side with the record thing and everything and will spread the word even more than I already usually do, I think that calling a woman a whore crosses a line. (Unless of course she really is or acts like one, which might be the possibility, since I got seriously no idea who you are talking about. So if she really is something like the scottish Paris Hilton, I apologize. If not, then consider you warned [although I doubt that this warning will be followed by any serious consequences, but you I think you get the point.])
Anyway, bring on High Poon!